|Nov 05 2011|
If life is a game, I'm at level 52 or something.
1. People should hibernate. There will still be plenty of nuts in the spring when we're finished.
2. Outlawalarm clocks.
3. Make me not so uneasy about 12-step programs?
lol... I have no idea why 12-step programs make me nervous. When I sit in a room at a 12-step meeting of any sort, I start to feel like this mindless mantra engulfs the room, taking away from individual experience. A tad comparable to a church-like experience. Church doesn't disturb me, being non-religious. It's quite pretty, actually. My son is Catholic, as he chose to be. I read him all of his materials to make his confirmation from the church, but I just aint diggin' it. He knows I am not religious, and that this is his choice. Strange though, that he didn't pick a more visually stimulating religion. He does like to learn about them all, and how some of the stories are similar in message.
"Hey, wanna catch a movie tonight?", I asked, thinking it would be a good way to get out of the house for some good, clean fun.
"Well, the meeting starts at 6:30 on Thursdays so we won't get to do that.".
Hmm.. There's only one problem with that. Making the effort to get to the meeting is amazing and shows true will to be in recovery but...
What if you've got five or so years under your belt, and you still blow off other activities to make the meeting. Do you ever get to see that movie in the theatre? Do you ever get to do something other than focus all of your energy into the problem (and problems of others)? When do we get to laugh and have a good time?
I don't know... I am so literal it's scary. Tired? Go to bed. Sad? You should laugh! Antsy? Go for a walk etc. ...omfg I turned into my Dad. Damn you Dad, when you said you would haunt me in the afterlife, I thought you were breaking my balls. ...ya bastid, I love ya.
No matter how many people I asked to do fun things, I always got the same scared look back from them. Maybe I'm recovering differently or at a different pace? Or maybe my mind buzzes too fast to focus on something so organized... the addiction isn't organized at all, it seems so detached from the solution to me. I wonder...
Ah well.. I'm off to find something to do. xxxooo
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