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Hazey420"When I found MDJ I was in a point in my life that I thought would never happen to me My ex-boyfriend of 20 years left me he said that "He was done taking care of me" I have had FMS since 1995 and he knew that and now since I have gotten older it has gotten worse. He met someone online who in fact is not sick and moved out of my life and to florida to be with her.I lost everything I had my house, my friends, myself as I thought. One day I came upon MDJ looking for some sort of support and noticed the FMS forums and knew that I could help people knowing that I have had it for so long and there are allot of us out there who have and no one understands us when we speak of the pain that we are in. The forum and the great friends I have met and made here, They make us smile with their comments when we are in the worst pain of our lives, they make us laugh when we dont feel like laughing, they make us talk when we dont feel like talking, just to let others know how WE all feel, they care of us when we feel no one out there does care, and they help us get through the days when we cant get out of bed. They also make us feel like we are not alone when we feel that are. I dont know how I would of gotten through the changes that have been going on with my life without them. That is what MDJ means to me." (Hazey420)

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Guilty79 I feel the need to tell my story along with my feelings when I was abused by my soccer coach. I liked it.
Guilty79 diary feed


I was molested and I liked it a lot.

Apr 16 2013

I want to start by telling you that all of what I write is the honest to god truth and I can tell my stories and feelings on this page safely. I find child molestation as a sick, discusting act and in no way would I ever conceder touching a child. What happened to me felt like I was a responsible, active participant at the time. I'm married now with two lovely children. I would kill anyone who tried to do to them what happened to me. I feel guilty because I did really enjoy my soccer coach molesting and having sex with me. I didn't even protest when he had a couple of friends join. 

At the time it started I was a 12yo boy who was starting puberty and didn't end till I was 16.

my friends dad was my soccer coach plus he lived directly across the street from me. My parents were never really around so my rides to practice and to my games were given to me by my coach. The day it started was a cold,rainy day. We had played a game and were filthy. It was normal for me to shower and stay over night a lot. 

My buddy went to his bathroom to clean up as I went to his parents bathroom to shower as I normally did. I had finished my shower and was wrapped in my bath towel when the door opened and my coach slipped into the bathroom quickly. I saw a different look in his face that I had never scene before. His look instantly made me hard. I took a chance and dropped my towel showing off my hard-on. At first he asked me what the hell I was doing. I froze in fear. He walked over to me. I thought he was going to put my towel back on me but to my shock he started rubbing my cock. He gently backed me up to the bathroom wall. He got down on the floor and started sucking my dick. He stopped after only a few. He stood up and pulled his dick out. He told me imitate what he did to me. I took him into my mouth. I really liked it. I wasn't very good but he let me keep going. After a little while he took his pants off and told me to lick his ass like an ice cream sandwich. I almost barfed at first but quickly started liking it. After a few, he turned me around and spit on my back and ass. He started rubbing his dick between my ass cheeks. He shot his load all over my back and ass. He told me to hit the shower. As I showered off he stood at the glass door rubbing his dick and licking his lips. He instructed me on when to soap up and how. He opened the door and started jerking me off. I came in a matter of seconds. 
After we dressed he asked me if I would like to do it again. I said yes. I was told not to say anything to anyone or he would never talk to me again, kick me off the team, not allow me to play with his son, and tell my parents who would put me in an orphan home. 
A couple of days went by when the phone rang. My mom had answered and after a short conversation she told me that my bud wanted to play. When I knocked on the door Mr. R answered. I said J wanted to play. He told me j and his mother went to her mothers and wouldn't be home till late. With that he started taking my cloths off. He brought me up to his room. He began showing me nude pics of his wife who was insanely hot with huge tits. I instantly got hard. He played with me on his bed for a while before he pulled out a bottle of lotion. He smothered my ass and his fingers. He began working his finger into my ass. I came instantly. 
A month had gone past and we had several interactions. One Friday I was invited by phone to sleep over with my bud J. I knew what was really going on. I went over to Mr. R's. he opened the door and told me that J and his mother were staying at her mothers for the weekend. It was common for them to stay there a few weekends a month.  
He quickly ran me up the stairs to his room. We jumped into bed. He kissed me a few times then turned on the tv. He started a movie. It was him and his wife having sex. She obviously had no idea she was being filmed. He striped then striped me. I went to suck his dick like I always did to start. He stopped me and said " get on all fours. I did as I was told. I felt baby oil pouring all over my ass. He had been fingering my ass every time for a month. I really enjoyed it. He pulled his fingers out. All at once I felt his cock pushing at my asshole. I actually came. He slowly worked his cock into my ass. He was gentle and kind. After he was all the way up in me he paused to allow me to adjust to him. By this time the pain was gone and I was in bliss. He slowly began fucking me. It felt great. His hands griped my hips firmly. He quickened his pace. I moaned. He started really moving. A little painful but well worth it. After about 10'he moaned and said he was going to cum. He began to pull out when I objected. He started slamming me the press against me. Thrusting his cock deep inside. I could feel his cock pulsing as he came in me. 
He rested on me for a couple of seconds then pulled out. He asked me if I liked it and all I could do was smile and nod. 
Some time had passed and he fucked me so many times I lost count. One Saturday we were having our end of the season party at Pizza Hut. All of my team mates were there and their parents. Mine were not there as usual. About 3/4 the way through the party Mr. R told me to go to the bathroom. I did. Shortly after he came into the bathroom. He locked the door and pulled my shorts off. Quickly he rammed his cock up my ass. He fucked me quickly. He came deep in me then quickly pulled his pants back up and ran out. It was awesome!!
When I was 14 we were into a great routine of private and sometimes public sex. One Saturday we pulled our usual scam and I went over to his house. When I went inside there were two men I didn't know and Mr. R. standing by the stairs. One of the guys bit his lip and began rubbing his dick through his pants. The other guy asked Mr. R. If he was sure. He told him yes then he grabbed my hand leading me upstairs. I was a little scared and didn't know what was going on. When I entered his room there was a video camera set up and a Polaroid on the dresser. I was a little freaked out. Mr. R assured me there was nothing to worry about as he took my shirt off. I was facing him with the two men at my back. Mr. R striped me nude then striped himself. He had me suck his dick while the cute man took pictures. The other man was close video taping me sucking his dick. It felt strange but I didn't mind. The cute man started touching me. He got down behind me. He pressed up against me. His jeans were unbuttoned and I could feel his cock rubbing against me through his boxers. I started moving and rolling my hips, teasing him. I heard him taking his cloths off. He began licking and fingering my ass. I was in heaven. As I took turns sucking their dicks Mr. R asked the other man to join. Three dicks and me. Loved it!! I took turns sucking them off as they touched me and each other. The cute man took up position behind me and slipped his cock inside. He had a huge dick and it hurt for a little while. The other two kneeled in front of me putting their dicks in my face for me to suck while the cute guy fucked the hell out of me. He quickly pulled out and came on me. The other man said it was his turn and quickly stuck his cock in me. He was quick and hard. He slapped my ass a lot while he fucked me. The cute man climbed onto the bed and put his dick in front of me. At first I was like hell no but I took a chance and started sucking his dick. I could taste ass but not gross ass. I liked it. Mr. R was taking pictures of them fucking me. I teased him with my eyes. The cute man raved about how lucky Mr. R was for having me. The other man finished fucking me. He came on me then went and sat down. Mr. R started eating my ass as I began to make the cute guy hard again. I really liked the cute guy and wanted some alone time with him eventually. Mr. R fucked me then told me that the two men would be staying here for the weekend and that he told my patents he would watch me while they went out of town. 
Later that night we ate pizza and sat around. I listened to them talk about their sexual experiences with men and women. The cute guy kept eyeing me. He asked Mr. R if he could take me upstairs for a little one on one. He agreed. I was thrilled. We went upstairs. He striped me and then told me to lay on my back. He took his cloths off and spit in his hand. He rubbed the spit on my hole. He lifted my legs up and very slowly and passionately slid his dick in me. I told him to fuck me. He took his time. Kissing my chest and lips. He stayed in control and really took his time. He was sweating bad. He said he was going to cum and started to pull out. I told him he could cum in me. With that he started fucking me fast. I was loving it. He pumped his load deep in my ass. He pulled out and sucked my dick and swallowed my load. 
After, we were laying on the bed when he asked me if he could secretly start seeing me on the side. I said yes. At 14 I had two regular grown men molesting me and fucking me. I know it's awful in reality. I would kill anyone who tried to do that to my kids. Yet I felt like I was in control. It was what I wanted at that time. It went on till I was 16. I slept with a few adults at 15 and a few more at 16. I couldn't believe how easy it was to get an adult to desire me sexually. 


Comments (3)Add Comment
written by Ben19, February 28, 2014
I was molested too as a 12 years old boy by my swim coach "Bill". He was a close friend of mine and I trusted him enough to tell him that I had questions about my sexuality and that I was attracted to other boys. Right after I sort of came out of the closet to him he began approaching me more often to talk about sex, admitting to me that he was also gay and that I could trust him to talk about this kind of stuff "as one gay guy to another". He told me that he had experienced oral and anal sex and mutual masturbation with other males since he was a young boy. He said his first sexual encounter was with his older brother when he was 10. I was amazed that he started having sex at only 10. He asked me about the kind of boys, then went into asking me if I masturbated. I admitted that I did masturbate just about every day. He told me that it was a normal thing for a 12 year old boy to do and that I shouldn't feel ashamed about it. He started asking me about what I fantasized about when I masturbate. I didn't want to tell him too much about that because it was a little akward to tell my swim coach what I think about when I jacked off.

One day after a swim practice I stayed late to talk with him about wanting to quit because I was getting to be just about the worst swimmer on the team. He talked to me about how I felt and tried to make me feel better. He was sitting next to me on a bench in the locker room and I was only wearing a pair of speedos. He started rubbing my back in a comforting, affectionate way. Then put his hand on my inner thigh and began rubbing up and down my leg and thigh, telling me that he loved how smooth my body was. My penis started becoming erect from the sensation of him touching me the way he was... and it wasn't something that I could control.... because I never got touched that way before. He noticed that I had a small erection and asked me about it. Embarassed, I admited that my penis was getting hard a little bit, but I didn't know why. He asked me if I had ever had any kind of sexual encounter with another boy and I told him honestly that I hadn't.

Then he asked me if I would like to try having a blow job. I was kind of nervous, but I said OK, since he was gay and I figured that I was too. He made me stand up and then slowly pulled down my speedos. He admired my penis and my balls, saying that he liked how I just had a little bit of pubic hair above my dick. He told me that he liked how I was circumcised, and that he was "uncut". He started performing oral sex on me and he even rubbed his finger up and down the crack of my butt, which I had never experienced before, and it felt really good. He offered to let me try sucking his penis, which I reluctantly accepted. I performed oral sex on him until he was almost ready to ejaculate. Then he pulled his penis out of my mouth and masturbated until he had an orgasm. Some of his semen made it onto my speedo briefs, and I was scared that my parents might see it and know what it was, and that I would get in trouble or that they might think that it was my semen from jacking off in my speedos. He wanted me to masturbate in front of him until I had an orgasm before I left, and I did. He commented that I only produced a little bit of semen but that would change as I grew older.

Two weekends later he invited me over to his house to hang out and drink beer. Bill wanted to fool around with me. We watched some of his gay porn movies, including movies with boys my age and younger having sex with other young boys and with men. Masturbated each other and had oral sex with each other again. This time he gave me an orgasm while he sucked my penis. He told me that he thought I was really beautiful and he wanted to have sex with me. We went into his bedroom, both of us completely naked. He had me lay on my back with my legs spread up in the air and then he used some lubricant on his finger to lubricate my anus. He fingered my tight boy hole for a while so it wouldn't hurt me, and then he slowly pushed his penis in my butt. It did still hurt, but wouldn't stop until he ejaculated inside of me.

After that was over, he showed me that he had several hidden cameras hidden in his house, and he said that if I told anyone about what we had done he would show the porn to the other boys on my team and kids in my school. He said he would also put videos of me on the Internet as blackmail. He even showed me some parts of the video of me sucking his dick (as I masturbated) and getting f*cked and said that there was no way the other boys would doubt that I was gay if they knew that I sucked other guys dicks, had my dick sucked by guys and got f*cked up the butt. I was only 12 and I was scared so I believed what he said.

I avoided him from then on and never told anyone I knew how he molested me and used me for porn.
written by louis13, May 21, 2014
There are several inconsistencies in your story. You use words like 'molested' and 'abused' but unless you left a lot out of your story, I only see two consensual relationships which you more or less initiated. Hardly what one would call 'molestation' or 'abuse'. "I feel guilty because I did really enjoy my soccer coach molesting and having sex with me." Then where is the problem ?
written by CalmCollect, June 27, 2014
Hi, Louis! I don't mean to be nosy, but I'm trying to understand how, with comparing your anecdote to that of Ben's, do you feel that there are so many inconsistencies in his story without contradicting that of your own? I'm not exactly sure what you meant by that totally, but whether it was one time, two times or even a million times, if an adult has sex with a child, whether it's consensual or not, it is automatically considered molestation and abuse. So indeed, Ben used the correct words in the proper context. And whether you liked it or not, or whether you initiated the incidents or not, the adult is the one who is supposed to make the final decision. In the end, whether you enjoyed it or not, it is no one's place to judge you and make you feel bad about it. You may have liked it, but even still, your coach and those other individuals were the ones who were ultimately out of line. I'm just saying.



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