How i'm feeling today.

Today i've had the courage to join an on-line help group. i really am hoping? that by sharing my feelings that someone out there can talk to me, i feel so alone and i'm so depressed and in agony. i know i shouldn't but i feel deeply deeply low, i lost my mum last year and have been in agony for nearly four years now, constantly in pain, i cant even think straight, all i want to do is curl up and die. i don't even want to get out of bed. i'm not wanting sympathy i just want this pain to let up! their no support where i live. no groups. i don't know any one whom has T N near me?