| OK, remember how I said I don't weigh myself...I don't. Have not for a yr. BUT today I had my yrly girl Doctor apt. And YIPE....I Knew I had gained a little over the past year, but not 5 lbs. MY jaw wanted to drop. I felt sick inside. I thought Maybe I gained 2-3, I have been eating more in the evening....consistently (my husband has been working late..so I eat dinner early...then again a little more when He is home) Before I went to the Dr. I TOLD myself I WOULD not look or ask! But she said it, I thought I heard a good number, so I asked again...and NO IT WAS higher than I thought she said. When I saw the Dr. I said I was disappointed that I had gained 5 lbs in this yr, etc. She was nice and said since I am conscience of these things she did not see that I would have a problem getting back where I was. I am almost 40, so I do worry about "gainging with age"...just the other day someone at work was saying..."AFTER 40 wt just stays on etc..." I THought to myself,, lady I see the way you eat...you do not exercise well HELLO!" I don't like when people act like we have no control. Just like with my pregnancies. Is it really polite to tell a pregnant woman her body will never be the same etc!!! NOT NICE. OK,well back to my increase in wt. The reason I did not want to pay attention to it is because I DON't want it to control my thoughts...to put myself at risk for trying to diet..leading to b/p for me always. INSTEAD...healthy approach. I will eat once at dinner,(not again when My hubby gets home) and no picking when I cook!!! I will continue not to weight myself....except for the next 3-4 days to see if the reading was pretty consistent. (WHEN I got home from the Dr. I compared my wt on my scale- of coarse!!!)I always do. Continue my goal of NO BP. I will be able to tell If I gain/lose a bit...I will be careful not to be feeling heavier...or will need to decrease food a tad bit. (I am using a food diary computer program..help keep track of my food intake..this is a good thing for me) GOAL, next yr. At Dr. office my wt will be back down the 5, and I will have practiced a yr of Healty eating habits!!! My husband called, asked how my visit was. I do not like to even tell him my wt. But I said I GAINED 5 lbs. He was sweet, he said "I DON'T SEE it, I would not worry about it Ang. you look great..and said, Maybe their scale is off"He asked me "how do you feel...you feel good right?"I said...yes, but a little over what I like...my belly is a bit mushier than usual..and but a bit bigger. I told him my plan. HE is sweet. I told him that I was happy he does not care about my wt, and makes me feel accepted for me "as is". I feel calm, and OK. I can't beleive I weighed about the highest I have weighed in a long while ( I have been this weight a few times before)He said he was suprised this was even an issue to me! I try and not talk about my wt much at home, so he does not really know my anxiety about it all. Ohh, last time I got weighed there...I was very active in my disease and b/p everything!And was dieting and had lost a few. Even the morning at my apt last yr...I took diurtics the day before, and threw up evey fluid in my stomache before the apt. to make the scale less..used a lax too, which I hardly have ever done! I am embarrased to tell you all, but I know you can understand the craziness of it. Another thing, my wt feels private..and I like it to be lower I seem to care a little bit even what the Nurse aid weighing me sees as the number!!!LIKE ANYTONE gives a crap what I weigh!!! Or what is on my chart...After she weighed Me I felt panicky, like MY light weight carnigan sweater was on...can we get another wt!!! and I weighed at home scale with and without my sweater...no difference. ONLY a Girl with an ED could write a whole paper on getting weighed at the Doctors office!!!!! Thanks for listening to my anxiety. Post edited by: ang12, at: 11/09/2010 07:38 AM Post edited by: ang12, at: 11/09/2010 07:56 AM
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