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Well, this week has officially stunk. I am going crazy like I did before, waiting for the monthly appointment! I'm just afraid something is going to go wrong! Or want to hear the heartbeat...dosomething. I love this baby, but I'm going crazy sitting around all the time. The only time I get out is when my fiance comes home from college. I guess it's nice that he's still here after all we've been through, but I'm going crazy! I have like no friends around so I sit around all day practically crying of boredness.

I hate the OB I'm seeing right now, or have seen the past 2 times. She's not as nice as my previous...which hopefully will be my next appointment. I had to get insurance again. 

Anyways, this week has stunk! I thought I found the job of my dreams for the current, but I guess I wasn't good enough or something. I'm a CNA, certified nursing assistant, and I suppose the OB department with infants had better options...? I don't know. I'm ticked because I'm certain there was no one who wanted this more than me. And being pregnant it's going to be hard to get a job somewhere else. But there's this girl I know who is pregnant and got a job in assisted living, so I guess I'll do that temporarily. Maybe to "gain experience" even though I have dealt with this stuff all of my life. >:( oh well. I hope I get a job soon.

The worst part of this week was I found out a friend of mine who had her daughter when I was due with my first (Nov. 30th, I had my daughter the 8th of December) passed away. I have no idea about any details, but I am just crying for her. She has been incredibly nice and out of all the teen moms I personally know, she was the best. I guess I feel so hurt for her, because I went through it and remember how weak I was, and didn't want anyone to go through it, especially not someone who's a great mother. I hate this a lot, it seems like the best parents or the ones who deserve to be happy, always have something bad happen. Not saying that other people don't deserve it, it's just some ladies come to my mind when I think about how much more fair it would have been.

There was woman who killed her daughter in the washing machine. I don't wish for any baby to die, but murder is worse, and I think that it'd be better if it was from SIDS or something non-suffering. I hate these types of stories..."parents" that murder their children. There are plenty of people who'd be happy with them who can't have children and can't afford to adopt or whatever. Another girl I'm thinking of is also a teen mom, but I know her really well. We were friends when we were younger and she's been lying, cheating, and basically prostituting around for a while. I know people make mistakes, but I know her. And chances are she probably got pregnant before and had an abortion, or even if not, she did it because everyone at my old high school seems to be getting pregnant, and it's all "cool" now. Ughh. She does what she does to become popular and get likes on facebook, her boyfriend is in jail and says very inappropriate things and I just feel like this "love" she has will last until it gets tough. I may be wrong, and I hate judging people, I never do, but knowing her for so long and seeing what she's been doing lately makes me angry. I don't want her to lose her daughter, especially since she hasn't harmed her in any way, but I do think that some people have children for all the wrong reasons and that makes me sick.