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Going Good

He hasn't learned a thing.

Sweetness

Jan 27 2011

Well, John went out of town for work. He got his weekly take homes so, all is good on that front.

He left a little surprise for me after I went to work. Not only did he clean up, take out the trash and fold laundry...he left me a little note under the covers in bed. I pulled the covers back and he placed a sweet note saying "Love ya and I'll miss ya" next to a heart with wings. That's the sweet thoughtful man I married.

He's called every morning and every night just to see how I slept and how my day went.

I feel so much love when he does these things...but it's still hard to show him. It's like I tense up when he's around. I guess I'm having a really hard time letting him in again. He's being so patient about it, and I wish I could just let the past go...but it's always there.

One day at a time...and one step at a time.

Previous diary posts by Sunsign73:

A Proud Moment
Living Life
I think it's time....
Being Wrong
Hope Poem

Feeling Positive Again
Day Full of Memories
Hmmmm
Floating
Back and forth

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by themmerle, January 27, 2011

I would be more worried if you were able to jump right back in and WEREN'T afraid. You were put through a LOT due to his addiction. Yes, you love him....the chemstry is still there...but healing takes time and trust is earned. It is just your fear that keeps you at an arms length. You just don't want to be disappointed...hurt. You are doing ALL the right things. Are you still seeing a counselor?

written by Sunsign73, January 28, 2011

Thanks for the encouragement. I am still seeing my counselor. She thinks I'm doing the right things also....and sees really positive signs in what John is doing. He's doing everything he should be doing, and then some. He's trying really hard to earn my trust, as he should be. You're right though...I am still afraid of what might happen. I guess there will be a part of me that will always have that fear.