|Jul 31 2011|
I'm so aggravated with him right now. He hasn't been working alot b/c there isn't alot of work for any of them to do. They are have a slow stretch right now. He might have worked 1 1/2 days last week TOTAL. Here's why I'm aggravated:
1. I let him borrow $180 last week to get new van tags, renew his license, get copies of his birth certificate and social security card.
2. On the days he didn't work, the house was not the way I was expecting it when I got home.
3. He has been laying around doing next to nothing.
4. He has no intention of trying to find any side jobs to make up for the short weeks, nor look for a different first job.
5. B/c he has no work, he has no money. B/c he has no money, he couldn't take our son to his cousin's house last night to spend the night....he waited for me to get home instead so I could take him. YET he manages to come up with money for BEER!
So.....with all that said, I am extremely aggravated for numerous reasons. We got into today about all of this and he doesn't see that he's not pulling his weight. I told him he's just sitting around and expecting me to take care of everything and I'm not doing that....it's unacceptable to me to be going through this when he isn't even TRYING to make any money on side jobs. I'm so pissed off that he's just sat around for the last TWO days watching the MASH marathon instead of trying to help in some way.
At this point, he's becoming more of a liability to me b/c he is making things more difficult for me instead of easier. Him being here was supposed to be for the better, and right now it's not. He's starting to stress me out bad. I don't feel like he's contributing his fair share of the responsibilities. I feel like I'm the one that has to make sure things are getting done instead of him being proactive and just doing it. I shouldn't have to harp on him to get shit done! It should already be done! I'm not his friggin mom.
As far as his recovery, he's still doing fantastic. He's still weaning down and going to the clinic. I'm proud of him for being clean for two years.
I don't know if I'm expecting too much from him or if my expectations are too high in general. All I know is I didn't have to worry about any of this when he wasn't here. I knew what was going on b/c it was just me and my son.
Maybe my dad was right.....maybe I'm one of those women that just does better on their own.
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