Why wear a ribbon?

"I wear the Blue Ribbon for Osteoporosis, Child Abuse, CFS" (Travel44)

MDJunction to me

"I've been a grateful member here for over 4 yrs this place has changed my life of course for the better, coming to the groups has enabled me to no longer feel so alone. As a group leader for the Bipolar Support group I can relate to others and am expressing my experience strength and hope and this is very rewarding, I've also made many supportive friends here whom I talk to some daily. I used to have a lot of 'lows' since becoming member here at MdJunction I no longer have these lows." (Dit)

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Gina

This Diary is just a tunnel vision report of my life. I say tunnel vision because it's just the narrow way I saw it. There is no input from anyone else here. It's just how I remember it.

Addictions

Jan 27 2011

I can become addicted to ANYTHING that makes me feel good. I have quit smoking/ choose not to drink/ use restraint with my pain meds/ and stopped compulsive shopping because I have nomoney. So what's left? My eating habits.

Like everything else I over did for years. Weighed 315 pounds.

I had surgery and lost 115 pounds. I kept it off for 5 years. I went on psych meds and gained 30 pounds in 2 months and havent been able to stop.

I don't like to eat for nutritions sake. I'll pass up a steak for junk food.

Since I have stopped a lot of things ( mostly because of lack of money)..Eating is my last way of poor coping.

I don't know how to break the cycle.

I have to think and PRAY

Previous diary posts by Ginag:

The 5 stages of grief
The stages of grief
Recovery

5 years later
A long journey to nowhere

Comments (3) Add Comment

written by RedGirl, February 09, 2011

I'm so sorry you have such difficulties with addictive behavior. I have a problem with food as well and am a bit over 200 pounds right now. I'm off work so you'd think I'd be exercising and trying to get some of this weight off but, nooooo, I'm sitting around feeling sorry for myself for losing my job of 26 years and so I eat, eat, eat.

My daughter has addiction issues and has had since she was a young teen so, believe me, I do understand your pain! She is now on Suboxone and going very well on that. She cries when we have serious talks about her problems in her younger days. She's now 29. I've told her I love her more than I could ever express, I understand, what is past is past, and to stop crying over what neither of us can change. Easy for me to say... I love that young woman so much! I've always told her I'd willingly jump in front of a semi to save her. She's a mommy now so she fully understands that emotion. I hope you have that kind of support from your family and/or friends.

I CARE!

written by Ginag, February 10, 2011

Thanks RedGirl.You are a blessing to your daughter.

written by Peace4Rach, September 10, 2011

I do the same thing, always opt for the junk food. It has become my coping mechanism for some time. Got real bad last year binge eating till feeling so darn full. I'm working on it with a nutritionist, last several months just trying not to binge like before and trying to watch my portion control. Next is introducing the nutritious foods I should be eating. Hang in there Gina. Hugs Rachele