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Getting back to the doctor - p8ntballgrl's Diary
View Profile Ok so today is the first day I will start this journey over again.
I finally heard back from the pysch. I have to drop by and fill out paperwork again since it's been so long since I've seen him. I lied to my office manager and told her it was for my orthodontist. I hate that part of my disorder. I feel that everyone is looking at me like they know all my deepest darkest secrets.
Let me just say this now for the record....."I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF!!" but sometimes I find myself thinking about my life insurance policy and thinking of how my family could use it to better themselves.
I love them dearly and I would never want to hurt them in anyway but I can't for the life of me figure out why in the hell i think this way.

May 08
2008

It's my birthday

Today is my 37th birthday, so I've changed my pic to reflect how I feel about birthdays.....ha ha ha



Comments (9)Add Comment
happy birthday... love from cinderella
written by cinderella, May 08, 2008
smilies/grin.gif smilies/cool.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/tongue.gif i hope u feel like this

and not like this....... smilies/angry.gif smilies/sad.gif smilies/cry.gif
i also hope that you have a grouse day, many happy returns xxxxx

Happy Birthday!
written by DreamChaser, May 08, 2008
Hey P8nt,

I'm really glad to see you are not seriously considering that option. You do realize that insurance companies don't pay out for the type of circumstances you are thinking about, right? Just a thought.

Enjoy your day! smilies/grin.gif
Have Birthday! Keep on keeping on...Stay strong!
written by shellymania, May 08, 2008
Hey P8nt,

Happy birthday!

I am the queen of excuses - amazing how many relatives have died, plumbers visited, broken down cars, sick kids, dentists, I have been too when it was all too hard to carry on that day. I would sometimes love to see the look on someone's face at work if I actually said what I have been up to. I hate to lie but sometimes I think it's par for the course as you have to protect yourself from the ignorant too.. smilies/smiley.gif

I always feel that everyone is looking at me like they know all my deepest darkest secrets too. I think the paranonia is part of this illness to some extent. My rational mind knows however that most other peoples lives are so filled with stress and their own issues that they don't usually notice what can be right under there noises. I am amazed at my ability to keep a job and fly under the radar at times when I know just how dsysfunctional I am at that moment in time.

It ill all be okay..just stay positive and look forward to making to it to birthday 38..
LISTEN UP!!!!!
written by kimminentdanger, May 08, 2008
1st of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! smilies/grin.gif 2nd of all: Why don't you try and make this birthday an ACTUAL day of rebirth??? You are about to embark on a journey that many people would NEVER have the strength to trudge!!! CELEBRATE THAT!!!!! And try not to get tangled up in the ol' "what are they saying about me at work" web... I'm sure there are people you work with who have WAYYYYY deeper & darker secrets than this. And if they don't; screw 'em anyway!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! smilies/cheesy.gif
HAPPY BIRTHDAY....TO YOU!!!!!
written by norma, May 08, 2008
smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/cheesy.gif
Happy birthday. But what a pathetic diary post!! This isn't the first time you warned us about your suicide thoughts.
written by ou812, May 08, 2008
This isn't the first time you made a post like this? Whats the deal with that?
Where the hell did that response come from
written by carmen33, May 10, 2008
Ou812? I realize that this is P8nt's diary, and by the way she is welcome to post what ever she feels like, and so are you, but where the hell did that come from? if she is or isn't thinking about suicide, that is something that she needs to post here, and it IS her diary.. why don't we check yours to see what pathetic posts you have made?
Happy Birthday!
written by TerriTee, May 10, 2008
Ahhh, to be 37 again, lol. I always like to reflect on my birthday about what things I can change and make better about myself and my life. Sounds like you are on the right track - getting to the doctor and taking care of yourself! Big hugs and happy birthday smilies/smiley.gif
Happy Birthday to you!!!!
written by Gypsy, May 10, 2008
Happy Birtday To You, Happy Birthday to you!!
WE are the same Age!!!You are a Taurus!!
I hope you have a wonderful day!!

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