|Feb 06 2012|
so, just looking at filling out this diary entry content page makes me anxious and scared. anyway. I found this mdjunction site on google and I've been looking through all the mental health tags and it started scaring me cause it was like, Body Dysmorphic Disorder? got that. Bipolar? sounds very familiar. Depression. Anxiety. Mixed states and hypomania in bipolar. Stuttering support group. Social Anxiety. I'm only *technically diagnosed* with major depression and anxiety, but all of the things I'm seeing here sound so much more familiar and help make more sense of why being treated for just my depression and anxiety isn't working at all. I wish it would work. I feel hopeless and fucked up beyond repair but I want and need to accomplish amazing things in life!!!!! that sounds ridiculous, I feel pathetic, I feel nearly suicidal every day and don't know how I'm going to get through any of this. I feel like I'm wasting my life trying to just figure myself out. I need to do more than this!!!!! I feel self-centered and horrible for not being able to do more for other people and I hate myself a lot and I could keep going like this forever but I'm shutting up now.
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