Focusing on Today

So many of my friends here have reached out to me lately, and that feels so nice.  Thanks so much to each of you!  I love MDJ as I am surrounded by others that GET IT..and know first handhow I feel etc.  I'm trying so hard to put myself back together after all of this.  It is like all of the anxiety and sadness of the past is catching up with me now that I have the time to actually breathe and feel my emotions.  Sometimes reading the posts of those that are going through the heartache and pain that I endured in the past, before my son was in recovery, hurts me so deeply that I can't function.  It is like I understand that pain so much that I relive my own ordeal in supporting them with their own.  Several friends, who also have "children" now in recovery have told me that they also suffer from these overwhelming emotions at times.  It is wonderful to hear that what I'm experiencing is NORMAL.  When I heard that Amy Winehouse passed away I cried etc.  I wasn't a big fan...but I knew the pain that her family and friends felt in not being able to reach her and save her life.  It is like watching someone you love self-destruct in front of you. 

I'm not 11 lbs. from my ideal weight goal.:)  I've been working out very hard every day and that does seem to help me with focusing on ME and dealing with stress etc.  Throwing yourself into something positive seems to help.  I'm hanging in there and pray for all us each night.  Tracy