fluffyluggage

Well, yesterday was not exactly what I expected. I had an appointment with the neurosurgeon. And I didn't exactly get the news I thought I'd be getting... I mean, I didn't expect to hearthat I needed surgery, cuz the orthopedic told me that no surgeon would touch me with a 10-foot pole. But seriously, I didn't really expect to be cut off, not get a full exam (he never touched my back), and essentially be told (kindly, yes, but still the underlying words were these) that I was fat.

Ok, no shit, Sherlock, I'm fat. I know this. And I recognize that it's at least part of my problem, but I really didn't expect to have someone tell me to my fact that it's ALL of my problem. Really? That was a bit of a shock. I'm sorry, but I'm reeling from it. I guess he thought he was saving me time and money, but it didn't really come off that way. He wasn't mean about it, but he said I was a surgical candidate for weight loss surgery, NOT back surgery, despite my 2 herniated discs, and bulging disc. And the reason I'm not a candidate for back surgery is my age, simply put. Hmm...

He said that some surgeons would be money-hungry and suggest I lose weight, and then perform a fusion, but he's not like that, so he's telling me to get weight loss surgery, oh, and maybe a breast reduction (my bra size is a 38J, betcha never heard of a bra size that big, huh?). But not back surgery. He's not money-hungry, and he thinks he has to do what's best for me. Wow!

We spent more time waiting to see the doc than we did with him. And at one point, I reacted to one of his tests, and he looked at me like I was an alien. He told me it shouldn't hurt, and pointed out that his instrument wasn't sharp. Um, ok. Well, it freakin hurt. I could still feel the pain last night on the bottom of my foot. I could still feel the trail of it! Hello? I'm in PAIN, that's why I came to see you. It HURTS! D'oh!

Geez... People, figure it out. I'm not a malingerer. I hurt. If I could get 10 or 12# off my top, I'd probably be able to exercise, at least a LITTLE, and I'd probably be able to lose some weight. I lost 57#, and not an OUNCE off the top. Hello? What does that tell you?

So this doc tells me that instead of curving in the natural "S" shape, my back is straightening all the way up. Not just my lower back, but my neck, based on my cervical MRI. Interesting, because my neurologist said my MRI was normal. What is it with these docs who miss things on MRI's? Who's right, and who's wrong? I can't figure this out! It's sooooo damn frustrating.

So I have to make the decision on whether to attempt to get my breast reduction surgery, which is what I'd prefer, or to go for some sort of weight loss surgery, and see if that does the trick. I feel like trying to get breast reduction is the better option, as it's been done for many more years than weight loss surgery, and I know a surgeon very well, so I've feel much more comfortable with it. I also think that if I end up getting a weight loss surgery, I'll still need breast reduction, but if I get breast reduction, I won't necessarily need the weight loss surgery. I think the idea of 1 surgery vs. 2 makes me feel better.

But IDK if I can get my insurance to approve it... I tried to get it approved about 7 or 8 years ago. I'm just trying to figure out if I should try to get doctors ahead of time to write letters in support of it...

I'd love some opinions, if anybody reads this and has some. Oy, I'm just so trying to figure all this out. It's very frustrating and very time-consuming. I have no idea where to turn or what to do, and of course, I woke up in so much pain this morning, I thought I'd never be able to move again. And here I am now...

Fun, fun. I'll be shiny again eventually, I'm sure. TTFN...