|Feb 05 2011|
Today was a day of tears for not being all the woman I wanted to be. I see there are times that being bp is downright crappy not only for me but whoever is in my path. I don't want to be difficult! There are times I think I actually think differently..like misunderstand things people say and then get all bent out of shape. I think things to death. And when I get angry, I can't hardly form the words I want to say and then it frustrates me all the more.
I had an argument with a friend last night and it was like we were on two different planes of thought! I couldn't understand why he couldn't see where I was going and it just made it more difficult for me to communicate. At that point, all I want to do is be silent. And of course that does no good for reaching some kind of understanding.
Sometimes it seems I am nothing but raw emotion and when I am like that then it feels so bad. I want to put away the past feelings and start afresh and not have to feel them anylonger. But they are there and disturb my present state. Like today...all I've done is cry about things and I don't want to be so depressed! I'm tired of it. Oh well...
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