|Feb 25 2009|
While I've had CRPS for many years now, I'm kind of at a crossroads in my life. I need to live. Not just live, but feel alive, as if I am living. I feel like if I'm not hurting anyone inmy activities then it's okay. My husband allows me the computer for support, maintaining my website, or whatever I need to do to divert myself from pain. But sometimes I feel separated from myself. Like I have to hide parts of me or be judged or maybe not judged, but misunderstood.
Recently I poured my heart to skittle because in a way I needed validation, someone separate from my "other" life to know me. Know that I'm good and passionate and compassionate even through the diversities of life. She was understanding and I'm grateful for that.
Being in pain gives us too much time to think about what was, what could have been and what is.
Some of my life includes erotica and promoting adult links, just things. It's all of me though.
Do we segregate ourselves from ourselves?
Am I the only one that does this?
I need the roads to meet at the end and become one. Just one.
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It all came flooding back!
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