Why wear a ribbon?

"I had an eating disorder in high school due to an anal-retentive aunt that I liv..." (tennwife)

MDJunction to me

"MDJunction to me is a life saver... when i first was diagnosed with Scheuermann's Disease i wrote a message to a page i found on google, hoping that they could help me.... you'd never know it but that weird feeling (you know that one where it feels like someone actually cares) came over me when i opened my email next day to find that someone on the other side of the world (at the American Medical Library)had read my message while i was sleeping, and there low and behold was the address to MDJunction.... well it is everything to me, i live it breathe it and love it!!!!! I have found many people who are struggling with similar issues banding together to help each other. It is the best place in the world, and i couldn't think of another place to go to meet so many lovely people....

thanks MDJunction" (cinderella)

more testimonials

Fire 'N Flight

Fight or Flight and Fire 'N Flight. A diary that takes you through the calm and into the storm, through the fire and into the ice.

Crossroads

Feb 25 2009

While I've had CRPS for many years now, I'm kind of at a crossroads in my life. I need to live. Not just live, but feel alive, as if I am living. I feel like if I'm not hurting anyone inmy activities then it's okay. My husband allows me the computer for support, maintaining my website, or whatever I need to do to divert myself from pain. But sometimes I feel separated from myself. Like I have to hide parts of me or be judged or maybe not judged, but misunderstood.

Recently I poured my heart to skittle because in a way I needed validation, someone separate from my "other" life to know me. Know that I'm good and passionate and compassionate even through the diversities of life. She was understanding and I'm grateful for that.

Being in pain gives us too much time to think about what was, what could have been and what is.

Some of my life includes erotica and promoting adult links, just things. It's all of me though.

Do we segregate ourselves from ourselves?

Am I the only one that does this?

I need the roads to meet at the end and become one. Just one.

Previous diary posts by rsdcrpsfire:

Recovering from a Meltdown
2nd Blocks Down 1 to Go
1 Down 2 To Go
Brief History of my CRPS

Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve Blocks
When Family and Friends Disappear
Isolation
My First Day at MDJ

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by Emilie55, September 16, 2009

When you said that you that feel like your separated from yourself it sounds like your dissociation, lots of people in great pain or distress do this it is a coping skill. I was told POW do this to cope, not that your a POW. But the stress level is that high. You are blessed to have a husband that support your web site. Em

written by rsdcrpsfire, October 12, 2009

Thank you, Em.

~smiles softly

Warmest wishes always,
~Twinkle