|Sep 25 2008|
Here it is, nearly the end of the week, and I finally had a good day, relatively speaking. I was at least able to catch up on some things around the house that had fallen behind all week.
But now I sit here, reading the forums and slowly taking my nighttime meds, and I'm exhausted and can't sleep. I feel a bad mood coming on. I don't really know why.
Well, that's not entirely true. I had a bit of a run-in with what could best be described as a Diva, which is something I despise. It's eating at me a bit. And I guess deep down inside I'm frustrated at being stuck in something I can't get out of due to the fact that I have no income of my own, and that angers me.
I am usually such a happy person, always smiling and living my life with a sense of humor just because I love to hear the laughter of others and I like knowing that maybe I've made someone's day. But the longer I am stuck in this situation, the more it eats at me.
I wouldn't call myself a control freak, but I have always had control over my own life except for two times...one being the current situation, and the other I can't (or won't) discuss because I believe it is what caused the onset of my Fibro.These are also the only two times I have felt helpless and that is not a feeling I deal with easily.
I don't want to be angry. I don't like being angry. I just want to regain control of my life so I can move on and do what I know is right for me. But how?
I have no answers. All I can do is sigh.....with a tear in my eye.
I'd better stop. I don't want to cry myself to sleep tonight for the wrong reasons.
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