|Apr 17 2008|
I chose the title of my diary and description based on how I would like to view the constant chronic pain in my life. I know that I do not suffer as badly as some, and that I should be grateful. Sometimes I try to not acknowledge the pain and that makes it worse. Like today, I have a sinus infection, and any type of physical ailment seems to worsen the FMS. My left knee has been killing me all morning. I chose not to ignore my pain today, so I stayed home from work. I could have worked, but I would have just suffered more, today and later. It is hard for me to make these conscious choices to take care of myself. I come from a long line of farmers and hard laborers. One does not choose not to go to work, unless you are hospitalized or have lost a limb or something. In the beginning, after I first told my Dad about the FMS, he would ask me every day if I was feeling better. And, depending on the day, I would answer him. I sent him some info on the matter, and now he just asks how I am feeling, though he continually tells me that I'll be okay, as though there is an end in sight. Drives me crazy, but probably makes him feel better as a worried parent. Today is a somewhat bad day, but there is always tomorrow.
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