Drowning

I have been in constant pain for several months now. I started having pain over a year ago, but it would come and go. Every time I said anything about it it was dismissed. Well today I had an appointmentwith my primary care doctor and told her that this pain has become unbearable. It has gotten to the point that I can barely brush my own hair because my arm hurts when I lift it. I have always been

February has been a bad month for me. in the end of January my husband's cousin's husband came to live with us, In the begining of February I started slipping into a deep depression, ;In the middle of February my daughter was hospitalized and our house guest had to go back home after involving my family in his very serious and life  threatening problems. All of thi

Today is my first day completely off of Abilify, I am hoping that everything will go well. I am a little nervous to be stopping so many meds at once, but so far everything has been okay. I am going tocontinue on my mood stabalizer and Klonopin as needed. I have been tapering off of 3 meds over the past week and still have 1 more to go.

For the last two weeks I have been riding the rollercoaster from hell, one day I am at the top having a wonderful time with my hands in the warm wind blowing my hair and the next it takes unexpected turnsand plummets to the bottom making me feel like I am going to hit the pavement and then we go back up again and this ride seems to never end. I don't know why I am even on this ride, I am not o

I found out yesterday that Catelyn has signs of ADHD and Bipolar as well as signs of mild cerebal palsy. She was accepted into the cook children's php program where she will be for two weeks. I'm not sure if any of these preliminary diagnosis are right, I have to take her for several tests to determine that. It has been alot for me to handle and I have been feeling very guilty about it, my

my husband got called in to work this morning and said "he had to go" the funny thing about this is that when it's just me and my kids at home he "has to go" but when his kids are over he refuses to go in on his days off. He left at 10:30 am and when hecame back at 2pm he had his hair cut and had already eaten, he told me he only worked an hour. I don't have a problem w

I try my hardest to make sure my house is clean and my dinner cooked by the time my husband gets home from work and it seems like he's always mad at me and I can never meet his expectations. I do everything I know how to do to make him happy, but it never seems to be enough. I have asked him what he expects of me and why he's always mad at me and he tells me that he's not mad and that

Why does everyone seem to want so much from me? They want their breakfast, lunch, clean clothes, car warmed up, toilet paper in the bathroom, house clean, dishes washed, cat fed, litter box clean andfresh smelling, etc... Do they not understand that it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning? They expect all of this from me, or is it me that expects it from myself? I just don't

I'm feeling better than I was last week, but I still can't get rid of this outsider looking in feeling. I feel that my body is going through the motions and is on autopilot and all I can do iswatch from the outside, powerless. I hate the feeling of not being able to control what I'm doing and not being able to connect with my feelings. I know that I love my family, but I don't feel

I'm still feeling weak today, both physically and mentally. My husband asked me yesterday if I was feeling better, and I told him that I was weak and not feeling well. He said that he didn't knowthat Bipolar can cause physical pain as well as the feeling of not being well mentally. I think that this is what alot of people don't understand, this illness affects EVERY single part of our

I am very proud of myself, even if no one else is. To most people it sounds silly, but to me it's a big deal. I have been trying to quit smoking since last year when I went from smoking a pack a day(20 cigarettes) or more to smoking only 10 cigarettes a day, but for the past week I have been smoking anywhere from 13-15 cigarettes a day because of nervous energy/stress. I was feeling

I'm so "high" right now that not even I can stand to be around myself. I went to bed last night at about 11pm and was awake trying to quietly clean my already clean house at 6am. I have gone to the store twice today to buy food so I can cook (I normally take week-ends off). My husband has noticed that I'm smoking more than usual here lately which I already know and am mad at myse

Went to Wal-mart this morning to find that they had moved everything around. I used to know exactly where everything was and went in there with the desire to just get what I wanted and get out becauseI get very anxious around people. Anyway, I ended up having an anxiety attack in the middle of Wal-Mart which was VERY embarrasing. I was eventually able to get my shopping done (after being in the ba

Have you ever felt like you were drowning and couldn't save yourself ? That's the way I feel almost every day, but especially today. I literally feel like I'm being sucked into a hole and I am trying desperately to keep my head above water. This sends me into a panic attack which results in me being short of breath, sweaty and pale. My husband noticed and asked me if everything was ok