|Feb 07 2009|
The past few months have not been easy, Ive had my ups and downs. mostly downs than ups.my daughter is seeing a Dr on the 11th to find out if she is Bi Polar. she has mood swings, irational thoughts,re acurring nightmares, and her grades in school are slipping. Rebecca on the other hand is showing signs of her old self, she is still dealing with Drs that dont seem to have enough time to operate, insurance companys that seem to only think about cost ( the all mighty dollar) roomates that bring evry little problem to her in hopes she can fix everything. After 12 yrs of her mothers death she still has nightmares. Her mom died in a crack house of an overdose. she was the one who found her.the sad part was nobody stoped to help.thats big citys for ya. nobody wants to get involved.
my Ex wife past away last May, and i have been trying to raise my 16yr old daughter on my own, trying to deal with the dept of Health, Child support recovery, and the social security office has drained me. Iwas depressed, angry,an frustrated, I was falling behind on bills, dident have enough money for food, and nobody was here to help.
I turned back to God for help. one day I was crying on the kitchen floor trying to drink my problems away,I could feel myself walking thru hell,I was so angry,so hurt,an so alone that the demons where afraid of what I might do. I saw the Devel and I told him he couldent have my sole, or any of my loved ones because I was an angel of god. I looked in the mirror and dident like the man I was turning into, I prayed to god for his love and now things in my life are turning around. in a time when major corp are failing,banks are closing, people are loosing there jobs, there homes,there self esteme ,I am getting better,as I walk with God i can see all my worries and problems slowing being taken care off, I still have my job, my girlfriend still loves me (even though its hard for her to say so) i know she still cares.I understand she is afraid of loosing me. but this will never happen.
if you read this,I pray that your preyers are answered, that you find peace in this crazy world, that you have faith, and you have love, and most important that you have time to help just one person who needs help.its a good feeling inside.
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