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I have found and met such good people on these forums. I never ever knew there were such compassionate people before MDJ. It's also nice to know that I can come here anytime and get support for what I am feeling. I feel like I have met some wonderful life long friends. It is also an outlet for me to try and help other people that are hurting. It gives me a good feeling inside and gives me self confidence in helping other people.

I hope MDJ will be as good for you as it has been for me! Many Blessings and Much love." (jayna01)

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Diary 2/24/12

How can I best support my husband and deal with my own feelings at the same time?

2/24/12

Feb 24 2012

My husband lost his right leg in 2008. It is still an adjustment but we take it a day at a time. We just found out Wednesday that his left leg is going to be amputated as well. He's upset, I'm upset, our families are upset. He's only 35. I just don't know how I am supposed to be supportful of him when I feel like crying all the time. They are making him meet with a psychiatrist before they schedule the surgery to make sure mentally he can handle it. But listening to him tell her about how his dreams and goals in life aren't going to happen anymore, I broke down. I know it's constantly on his mind now. His ex-wife left him when he was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease. I think he fears I will leave too. I can't think of any other ways to prove to him that I'm not going anywhere. I've been with him through his kidney transplant, pancreas transplant, his pancreas transplant failing, amputation of his right leg, and I will be there after the amputation of his left leg. He's worried about what kind of life we will have and the stress his health is putting on me. But I love him, and will deal with the stress any way I can without it affecting him, even if its by just doing this...venting through an online support group. I'm afraid of telling him all of my feelings and thoughts about what is going on because he's already being treated for depression.

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by heretothere, May 23, 2012

My husband has also had one leg amputated and is about to lose another. We've been lucky and haven't suffered all that the two of you have. Unfortunatley my husband and I were not on great terms when all this began. I wonder if it wouldn't be better to just take a breath and tell him everything you think and feel. I know in my case, what you think someone else feels is usually totally different than the truth. Maybe he'd like to unload on you, but is afraid to add to your stress. I wish the best and better days for the two of you. Hold onto each other, love each other. Some days that's all we can hope to accomplish.
Kim

written by kara08, May 23, 2012

Thanks. Things have gotten worse, he ended up being attacked by a dog after his surgery and got an infection, he's had three more surgeries with a fourth scheduled for tomorrow. He's been in the hospital for three weeks now and don't know when he will be coming home. But it is nice to know that people understand and can relate more than our families who are just dealing with it when they feel like it.