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"I have panic attacks and am a recovering addict." (KellyMack)

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Dit"I've been a grateful member here for over 4 yrs this place has changed my life of course for the better, coming to the groups has enabled me to no longer feel so alone. As a group leader for the Bipolar Support group I can relate to others and am expressing my experience strength and hope and this is very rewarding, I've also made many supportive friends here whom I talk to some daily. I used to have a lot of 'lows' since becoming member here at MdJunction I no longer have these lows." (Dit)

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GabsBaxter

Depersonalized, Depressed, and functioning!

Adventures of someone who was diagnosed with Depersonalization/Clincical Depression for 20 years. Fully functional 99% of the time, but have times of "falling out of remission"...


Day 12 and the Beginning of Day 13

Jul 09 2012

Have any of you guys gotten into the series (or graphic novel version) "The Walking Dead"?

Yeah - I'm kinda life a zombie :)

I have a feeling - like I said on Saturday - thatthis is a transitional phase; you know, going off the Paxil/onto the Zoloft. I am hesitant to throw in the towel on the Zoloft after 13 days. As many of us know, it usually takes 4 to 6 weeks for stuff to start cookin' in our bodies.

I have this stupid perfect storm of things going on inside me, as I've told you guys before: Paxil doesn't work anymore, lots of life-stress (although probably things that don't seem stressful to others, but stressful to me!), busy career, school's out for summer (shout out to Alice Cooper...), have had a lovely 6 month run of bronchitis on-and-off again...and menopause :) Aaaahh...lovely!

In any event, I think I should give the Zoloft another couple of weeks before I throw my hands up in the air and wave 'em like I just don't care (sorry - I'm still in rapper mode after hearing Ice-T and Sir Mix-A-Lot on NPR yesterday...don't ask...I know that those 2 guys and NPR don't necessarily go together...it was on a show...). I remember it taking about 6 weeks for Paxil to work for me initially, and was reminded by my mother this weekend that I had some interesting side effects when starting that, too - like tummy trouble and feeling like a zombie. It's just been such a long time since I started it, I really don't recall feeling bad taking it! But, in retrospect, I guess I did :)

Yeah, you know - it's bad enough to feel disconnected from depression/depersonalization/anxiety, but then to add pharmacutically-induced zombification...that's a whole other element.

I guess the best way to describe exactly how I feel is this:

You know how you feel when you're really, really, REALLY sick? That foggy feeling you have when you're running a fever? Well, that's what I've felt like since Thursday with the exception of the fact that I'm NOT running a fever and I'm not physically ill. I just have that foggy, feverish brain feeling like I get when I'm super-duper sick. It does dissipate somewhat due to our favorite friend, diurnal variation - AKA I'm one of those people that has a period of time at some point in a 24 hour period where all of my symptoms lift and I am "normal" again. For me, it can begin anwhere between 3pm and 7pm, which sorta stinks :p



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