|Feb 28 2010|
I feel lost right now. I have been able to talk to Ryan but this whole event has shaken me emotionally. I thought he was dead and I'd never see him again. This long distance is no longer an option. I gave him an ultimatum. I told him he can either move here and finish school here or we are done. I can't take it anymore. I already know he will pick school over this relationship. His parents wouldn't approve him moving although he is a grown man. I have given him no choice. In my mind he should want to be with me. He should want to move. He comes up with so many excuses. Oh well. I do love him but enough is enough. It's been 3 years I've put up with this long distance. It has become unfair to me. If he can't understand that then that's his problem. Let's see how he feels without me.
I'll struggle more then he will. I can do it though. I need to. I can't handle this anymore. It drives me more crazy then anything else in my life. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do even if it hurts in the beginning.
He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
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