|Dec 15 2010|
Yep, that's right, today is my 4th anniversary. In 2 days it will be the first anniversary of finding out wifey cheated on me.
I was in the shower this morning when it hit me why I'vebeen so bleh lately. As well as we get along, I still harbor a deep resentment for her stealing my happily ever after. And today would've been a day to celebrate a happy life together and instead, it's just another day on the calendar. Ok, it's payday so that's something to celebrate but that's it.
4 years ago we had a bright future in front of us, we were happy and in love. Now we're 2 people who do care for each other but no longer have any desire to actually be husband and wife. I asked myself this morning, if she were to do another 180 and go back to who she was would I go along with it and try to have the happy marriage again? I couldn't really answer it, I want what I had, it was the dream, a wonderful wife, a beautiful baby boy who is growing into a wonderful and amazing little man, a dog, a house, I had all of it. I'd like to think I'm strong enough to remember all the torture I've been through this past year, strong enough to realize that what once was can never be again. I know that I can never ever truly trust her again, and I hate to think that I would blind myself to the history just for a taste of what we had.
What a shitty day, I think I'll have a few beers tonight, she's due back from a little road trip tonight and thanks to the day being what it is I'm certain I won't be in a very chipper mood. I actually texted her a little while ago and asked her if she realized what today was, she called and said "Happy Anniversary" to me, than admitted that it's not very happy at all.
Screw it, I need to get some work done and grab a twelve pack on the way home.
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