|Apr 13 2011|
It's FINALLY getting to the point where I'm realizing that it really is over between "R" and me. I don't think of him nearly so constantly and wonder what he's doing. I dooccasionally and it makes me cry, but I'm understanding that this is what's left and I have to deal with it - or die. My ex, "G" did kick me out yesterday because I wouldn't have sex with him - really! I'm staying with my daughter and her SO, who have been very gracious with their big home and everything I need. I can't stay forever, but I'm welcome with no strings attached.
I'm getting my feet wet dating again - which is weird, but helps me in some small way understand that I'm still desirable and wanted. Besides, it helps keep my mind off my other problems. I'm working and saving money towards moving into my OWN place where no one will ever ever ask me to leave again because I'm not special enough. Damn it, I'm tired of being pushed around. I am a human being with deep feelings and I deserve to be cherished and loved too for all that I put out!
Trying hard to get better
Feel weak today.
Been a few weeks, but.............
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