That "new" med is really an "old" med called Gabapentin which I think is really Naurotin, or something and I'm not quite sure if it's going to work or not. All it seems to do is make me even more tired than I already am.

Nothing will ever be perfect because that's just the way it is and... I wouldn't want perfect anyway.

I'm really trying here to get over this depression. Maybe the Lexapro just isn't working right.  Maybe this is why I'm so tired. Maybe the doctor has me on too many different meds.

I shouldn't be depressed. I shouldn't be tired. I shouldn't be sick. I'm tired of feeling like this. My plan is to live to 104. I have so many things that I want to do, things that I still want to learn, new things to try. How am I going to do this? My mind just races thinking of all of the things I used to take for granted and now want back.

Well..today is going to be a beautiful day. I think I'll go take a walk out to the back pasture and see some of the calves. They always cheer me up and I hear them "mooing" right now. Think positive and just be thankful! :)