Daily routine

YAYz for therapies! anyhoo, it was awesome, anyhoo? fuckit, it was a very constructive session with a plan laid out by my Tdoc before we started talkin, i think it ran late, but the more time i haveto talk with her the better. Its just noone here listens so, and they certainly dont understand. its just really nice for me to finish a sentence about how im feeling and not get the "are you crazy" or disappointed look. more understanding and guidance, its just nice.

 Anyway, it was basically structured around me figuring out when im just being paranoid. Kind of trust issues... i think, god, fuck my memory! all i know is there was alot talked over, i got alot off my chest, and im sure im a little better in one way or another. plus because i was (still am) manic as shit we made a "personal mania profile in where i checked off or wrote down the parts of mania i get so i have my own and dont have a symptom list that includes things i dont have, also to warn me if im becoming manic.

 I also found out about this little thing i do apparently on a sub conscious level when im hypo manic, well, when your hypo manic, everythig is gravy, all is happiness, dont want to spiral into depression right?  well hypomanic me keeps giving me regular doses of mania triggers to try to preserve the hypomania state, that then slams me into full on mania, this is something new i will try to keep in mind next time i hit that wall of happiness.