|Feb 28 2009|
Lately I've been feeling wrong.. like something inside is broken and I cant get to it to fix it. I know it's there, but I cant reach it. I know we all feel this way sometimes and sometimesthe feeling's just stronger than others, but when does it end? I've been struggling and broken for weeks now. I put on a good face and try my best to do what's right, to say what's right, but I always stumble and fall. Falling into this pit of despair and self loathing. Is it the self loathing that has me feeling so broken? I'm not sure. There are times when I just feel numb. Like you could pierce my heart and I wouldn't feel a thing. I am used to being cast aside.. I am used to going from something to nothingness in a blink of an eye. Why does this hurt so bad? I am well trained and I know how to manage the nothingness but today I struggle and the nothingness wraps around me like a cold blanket.
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