|Dec 28 2008|
Well, I'm hungry but can't be bothered eating. I have been researching bi-polar like crazy online the past few days. I need to do something; I have been depressed for 12 months. Depression is no fun. We all want to be happy. I do, don't you? Tiny, little things have been bugging me for months. I have been wondering if there is a god of small things that I could pray to. I pray every day not to drink or use drugs, but I have little faith that this depression will pass and I will be back on top of things again. I was meant to visit my kids who live in the north of England at christmas, but fear stopped me making the trip and I feel very guilty about it.
I am doing little with my music at the moment and nothing with my art. I know it would do me good mentally to do some drawing or painting, but I keep saying to myself that anything that I would do wouldn't be any good. I feel stuck with my art.
I think I will go to bed soon. I have started on lamotrigine, and I have some hope that it will lift my depression in the new year.
Good night all.
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