|Aug 23 2008|
It's been 15 days now since I used. I am feeling better and in some things still stumbling, tryingto reach out, finding it hard to make new friends. I still have to deal with having fibro which makes it so difficult anyway. I can't do the things I want to do, even though I really want to make my house livable and less cluttered. It just seems to take so much out of me. I have found some friends online which is great. My husband has been so good to me. He makes it all worthwhile just to be able to be with him and live in peace and trust. I know things will get better. My main thing is just to take one day at a time, hit at least one meeting every day, if not two meetings a day, and just not to pick up. I don't find it hard for me not to pick up, it is still difficult for me to live in my own skin. I know it will take time for me to feel better. I am happy that God has been there for me, helping me & guiding me. I just have to remember to stay humble, to hit my knees and pray more, instead of allowing my thoughts & situations get the best of me. So as long as I keep it simple, I think things won't be too hard for me to deal with. One person told me at a meeting (Lester) not to put too much on my plate at one time, just put what you need and that's enough. My sponsor also said you can't solve spiritual problems with physical things. That made so much sense to me. The emptiness I was feeling was because I had alienated myself from God. He didn't turn His back on me, I just was turning my back on Him! So, even though people say I am doing so well, I can't let that go to my head, because this is such a devious disease that I could trick myself into thinking that I could handle it, just one more time, and I would be fine. But you never know what can happen. The next time could be my last. I don't want to take that chance. I know I have a purpose to fulfill in life and I am determined to keep seeking God and His wisdom and guidance to help me to find my purpose and to run with it! So, here goes to another 24 hours, already now into the next day. It will be 16 days as of 11am today (it's past midnight now, so the 15 days was for yesterday - Saturday). Now it is Sunday and we did go to church last night and it was really good. Learning about why we do what we do in the worship service, the meaning behind all the traditions. I use to go to a non denominational church, so we really didn't have rituals. The services lasted twice as long as they do in the Lutheran church, but I believe my pastor now is very in tune with the Holy Spirit and in touch with God and having order and meaning behind tradition makes it more fulfilling. DH & I also signed up for a couples class at pastor's house which will be through him & hs wife. There will only be 5 other couples besides the Pastor & us. I think it will be very good. DH is also taking classes to become a "Steven's minister", a person that stands by somene else that is going through a difficult time. It sounds like DH will really be blessed by taking these classes and also will be a blessing.
Updates to come!
written by ALCSS2008, August 24, 2008
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