Well since yesterday I have been reading a book called "He came to Set the Captives Free".  In this book, it takes you in a journey through the spiritual warfare with satan and how to pray hedges of protection and HOW Christians are bound with generational demons and curses. I am about 60% though  the book and I am telling you it has CHANGED ME! It has taught me to have authority over the devil and WHY it is so important to know the word of God and to read it! If any of you have theopprotunity to get this book and read it, DO SO! Oh my gosh it will bring you to a higher level and totally flip your view on life as a Christian.

Me, mom , and dad went to Life Church in Mobile today for Sunday school and for worship services. MAN that church ROCKED! Funnies tthing I could not put that book down and I read it the whole trip over to Mobile and on the trip home. I of course did not take it inside. Dad was very resilient, so mom told me. He ws very standoffish in the new church  and it was so unlike him! I am not trying to confess he is bound but it seems as such! Mom had a BALL in praise and worship and man the Holy Spirit was so strong there -- not like the other church that dad still attends. GROWN MEN at this church were jumping and dancing in the spirit and it was so AWESOME! I had not felt that and been around people who love God and do not care what other think. I fit in I felt. I told my mom about it and RIGHT AWAY satan tried to use my mother  and said "Don't form an opinion and trust them " and I told her "Jesus is there and they are free in the spirit just as God wants us!"  She then hushed up and satan knew I was not going to let him win!

"Hope is an infallible thing. It is the one thing that you can never loose. You can't give up hope." The first time my friend David told me those words I wanted to cause him physical harm. I imagined myself hitting him very hard with a blunt object until he begged for mercy. (See, now you know why I was in therapy for so long... anger issues!) At the time, David led a small class on wedneday night called Freedom. Yes, we sat in a circle and shared our feelings. Anyway, the class that night was centered on depression. Oh, I had plenty to be depressed about. And many times have said, "I've lost all hope.", "I feel hopeless", "I want to die." So, since I am a verbal opinionated not so young lady I decided to voice my opinion. I retorted, "I don't believe thats true. I've lost hope before. I've even begged to die. I have even attempted suicide before."

He looked at me and said, "So when you tried to kill yourself what where you placing your hopes on?"

Without thinking I said, "Well, I was hoping to die. But, obviously that didn't work out."

"See, you didn't loose hope. It didn't magically go away. You just placed it in something else. Something that couldn't help you or give you joy."

At this point, I realized what he was saying was true. (Which inherently made me want to hurt him all the more!) I misplace my hope, faith and trust in things and people that can't help. So, when everything is lost, and theres nothing left where do you put hope in? Cars? Material possessions? Money? Family? All things will fail you. They will. Its a fact, not a theory.

Recently, I watched the new Rambo. Its like the millionth Rambo they have come out with. But this one was different. First off, it was more violent and bloody. Second, it was about the people in Burma, and medical missionaries that got capture there. This was an awefully graphic depiction of what these people went through. Some of them lived. But they all had one thing hope.

I personally place my hope in God. When life happens God is always there. Some have said to me, if your God is so great, why did he let you get in the car accident? I always answer the same way. Let me? It called free will. You can't have love without it. I love Val Kilmer, but I'm sure that if I kidnap him and lock him in the basement and say, "love me now!!!", not only would I be arrested, he definately would not love me. The greatest thing about Love is the freedom to choose. And that is where I place my Hope, in a God that is Love.

p.s. I also got my anger issues resolved in that same class. It took a couple of years.