Why do I sit up all night!  I drink my wine, I fall asleep, wake up and drink again.  It's like I'm afraid to go to sleep.  The funny part is I don't feel that bad.  I guess mania is happening right now.  I'm about to tears right now because I'm desperately seeking help.  I'm at my wits.  I'm trying to accomplish so many things right now that I'm confused.  My stomach is churning, my head is swimming and I have no one to talk to.  I'm going to try and find some help, but it  has to be cheap since I don't have a job nor insurance.  So that's my goal for today is to get help.  I have a job interview next week and I want to be read for it. HELP!

I wish that at least one of the many therapists we saw would have believed me when I said that there was something undiagnosed in my husband.

I wish that I would have never been abused by him.

I wish that while all of his issues were left untreated and undiagnosed, that my mom, 4 babies and my best friend hadn't died.

I wish that I had not withstood all the crap and hurt that was given to me.

I wish that my husband could care about me in a way that he has never been able to, and may never be.

I wish that my life become happy, that I become stronger every day and that I am safe from hurt.

I wish that I be the person for myself that my husband cannot be.