It's Official...I'm Going Insane. |
Mar 21 2012 |
I swear that I am about twenty different people living in this one body and frankly it is getting a bit crowded and I am starting to wig out slightly. I haven't worked in quite a few months and have applied for Social Security in the past and was denied. I now have been hospitalized seven times and so people are suggesting that I reapply. The only problem is I can't work during the process or I will get denied and even though work is really hard for me, I need to because if I don't then my family will be broke. I have an interview tomorrow with a cosmetics company and I am very nervous. I am a freelance artist and I doubt my work greatly and I hate having to try to prove myself to others. I get really nervous and pretty much damn the situation before its even started. I don't know what to do, I know working part time would be good for me, but at this point, I just want to crawl into a hole. I don't know what to do, I need to work, but sometimes I feel like I count. The question now is to disability or not to disability. Hell I'm only 29 I know I need to work...ugh..
Comments (4)
You are having a hard time right now. I'm sorry for this. That is too bad that you were denied disability. You could always try again. Like you say though, you need to work to bring in money. The disability thing can take a long time. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place in deciding what to do. Have you talked to your psychiatrist about the different people you are feeling like? Maybe you need a medication adjustment. I hope this gets better for you.
Thank you both so much for your comments. I am going to my interview tomorrow for the cosmetics company and depending on what they want or what they are expecting we will see how it goes. I want to work I just feel so out of my mind lately that I can't imagine actually working, but who knows, maybe it will be just what I needed. Praying for a light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks everyone!
Hi. I hope things went well at the cosmetics place! Don't ever doubt your ability in your work! I totally understand the disability thing. It took me almost 4 yrs but it was worth it! Even though it's not much, it's something I can depend on! Good luck!
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i'm trying to get a disability claim going now- i have zero money and no way can i work in an office or whatever.
i'm also freelancing, trying to interest people in my art and writing and it's really, really hard to do work you feel good about and get others interested enough to pay for it.
maybe the time it takes to get the social security happening is time you could spend on your own and getting it together enough - portfolio, etc - to show others with confidence?
it's all hard, i know, but it can be done... good luck!