|Sep 09 2011|
Not sure I can do this but am going to try to continue on from my last entry. Having a really hard time with typing this part. Going to try.
I know that I am in real trouble now. Just no strength left. I can do better than this. I can take care of myself better than this. Can't fight anymore, I need to get away. I manage to get rolled over onto my stomach and try to crawl away. He follows me, taunting me, run my little mouse, run. He kicks me in the side. Hard to breathe. He kneels down by me...scream for me my little mouse, scream. I swear at him. He tells me he knows how to make me scream and he laughes. Evil laugh. He pulls out a knife and starts cutting on my clothes. He is not careful either. At first my hazy brain does not understand why he is doing that. The it hits me.....in my head I am screaming OMG this cannot be happening. Death would be better than that. I try to push his hands away. He just laughes and keeps telling me to scream for me my little mouse, scream. I swear at him. He punches me in the face and the drives his elbow into my stomach. Totally exposed now....OMG this cannot be happening. Refuse to scream for him even when he touches me, taunts me, or cuts me. At least I can deny him that. The smell of his cologne is making me gag. Fight--why am I not fighting more? No strength but I can do better than this.
Have to stop for now...been sitting here looking at the screen for 15 minutes and just can't type about IT now. Guess I am proud of myself for being able to type as much as I have so far but feel like a coward that I can't actually type about IT. What is wrong with me? Why am I such a coward?
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