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Life is what you make of it....if it does not fit make adjustments. I have the power to make those adjustments. I can do it....don't give up.
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Baby step number 1

Sep 06 2011

OK going to try to write a little about what happened to me.  Hope this does not sound too scattered....not sure if I can do this.  I had a friend who was in the advanced stages of cancer. I did my best to watch out for her.  There was a wedding dance of a mutual friend at a rural dance hall.  I did not know that my friend was planning on being there.  I don't normally drink much at all but that night was an exception and I had a few more to drink than I should have.  Not drunk but not thinking as clearly as I normally do.  About 10 PM, I was told that my friend was in the far end of parking lot and she seemed to be in trouble.  With a few drinks in me, my decision making was not as good as it should have been.  I knew that the trouble involved five men--I had seen them at the dance early and they were trouble makers.  I thought they had left.  I should have someone come out with me but I went out alone.  But I was too proud to ask, secure in my knowledge that I could take care of myself, I had marial arts training, always been a bit of a scrapper when the situation arose, etc.  The situation was worse than I thought.  My friend was not hurt yet but it was obvious what their intentions were.......I did get her away from them and into my car.  I didn't make it into the car and it was obvious that I was not going to get in....more of a fight with the four of them then I anticipated.  I told her just to go home.  She was so scared that she just left.  The four younger men had no taste for a situation with someone who could stand up for herself and they soon left.  I was in trouble by then all ready.  I could stand a little but had something seriously wrong with my knee--later found out that it was broken.  I thought I was going to be able to hobble my way back to the dance hall.  That is when the real problem started.  The older man--I remember thinking he must be military, by his dress and demeanor.  He stayed out of the orginal altercation.  He did not stay out for long......One good shove was all it took to get me down.  I couldn't get back up.....

Ok that is all I can do for today.  Can't beleive I am typing this....hope I am doing the right thing.  sigh. 

Previous diary posts by Bree68:
Comments (3)Add Comment
written by hiall, September 06, 2011
Hi Bree, You should be very proud of your self. Yes it is the right thing and a big part of healing. Its good to get it out but only when you feel like it. Just take your time.
written by Izzy87, September 06, 2011
Getting it out into the open is of tremendous value...and very scary. Being brave is not the absence of fear, but in doing the right thing despite the fear...and hiall is absolutely right, take it at YOUR pace. This is your journey. You have the power now.
written by Bree68, September 07, 2011
Thank you both. Sometimes I am convinced I can't do this...other times I think I can. I know I have the power....I just have to do it. Think I can do a little more...will keep trying.

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