Awake |
Mar 09 2012 |
Usually dead to the world by now (11.40pm in UK), but am currently wide awake.
Took olanzapine yesterday afternoon and slept until 6.30 this morning. Now can't sleep at all.
Had panicattack after locking myself out of the house- what a muppet!
Tonight I feel barely alive. I don't feel like myself at all. I feel angry that my friends can't understand why I don't feel like going out tomorrow night. I just can't do the whole getting drunk thing at the moment.in fact the whole social thing at all. I'd be pretending. Pretending to be normal, cheerful, like everything's fine. Really I feel like I'm on the waiting list to die except the dudes upstairs haven't got round to killing me off yet, so I'm still on the conveyor belt of life, waiting to get off.
Oh well, here's hoping I feel better tomorrow ;-)

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