Diary Entries for Zetchen53

Everything is working out for the better!

Zetchen53

Well I started my first day of work yesterday, and surprisingly I had a lot of fun. All of my co-workers are really nice to me and I really like it there. I have work tomorrow from 4-8 and I'm really excited since it'll be more than just my orientation. I get paid every two weeks and I figured out my first pay day will be June 8th which really isn't far away if you think about it!

Dan and I have been getting along so much better lately as well. We aren't officially toget [...]

my senior tip!

Zetchen53

well im on the bus for my senior trip now and i can already tell imm not going to have as much fun as i hoped. i already miss mikey I woke up late and im not really talking to any of my friends and itmsjust the beginning of an eight hour trip...

Will things ever change

Zetchen53

Ugh lately I've been feeling like
my entire family doesn't understand me except for my grandma sue (my dads mom).
I mean I've always been close to her ever since Iwas little but I think lately
I feel like shes the only one in my family that really understands me. Like everyone
on my moms side of the family keeps telling me to take Dan to court. Which I
can see where they're coming from but he hasn't even signed the acknowledgement
[...]

Just venting/ranting

Zetchen53

Ok well I just found out today that my junior year (last
school year) I could have been in Madrigals (a very selective singing group at
my school) even though I was pregnant! Ever since I found out about this I have
just been so mad. I'm in it now and one of the girls (who's also my best friend)
who was in it last year told me that the teacher said he wanted me in it but he
didn't think I'd want to be since I was pregnant. I'm just so m [...]

I am so worried right now! :(

Zetchen53

I am so worried right now. Mikey is going with Dan on Wednesday
and I won't be there. Mikey barely knows his dad since Dan hardly comes around
and I've always been there so I can take care of Mikey since Dan never really
does. I have no idea how I will keep my mind off of my little boy while he's
with him. I'm just hoping everything will be ok. :(

I don't know how some peope do it...

Zetchen53

I have been trying me butt off to be happy and stay positive
but it is soooo difficult. Like Dan came over today for Halloween to see Mikey
in his costume and he stayed longerthan he did when we were together and the
entire time he was flirting with me! I mean come on here like I wish he had
acted like he did tonight when we were together. I'm trying so hard not to
think about him because I know I still have feelings for him and want to be
with hi [...]

Just frustrated.

Zetchen53

Well I just found out Dan has a new girlfriend. I know I'm
the one who broke up with him but it doesn't make it feel any better. My mom
really wants me to take him to court for child support but I know that would
bring up the problem with the paternity test and everything and I really don't
want her to find out about it at least not while I'm living with her and my
step-dad because I know that she'd flip and there's already enough t [...]

Torn in two....

Zetchen53

Well even though Dan has said he'd be around more and everything he hasn't been at all! When we're together I'm happy, but then I go 2 weeks or more sometimes without seeing him. Nomatter how many time I tell him I want to see him more he just doesn't listen.

Well recently I've met this guy Mike he's 20 years old and really sweet, and I see him more than I do Dan! I'm really starting to fall for him and I know he likes me because he's even told m [...]

I just don't fit in.....

Zetchen53

I feel like no matter what I just don't fit in at school. I'm not pregnant anymore so it's like none of my "friends" really cae anymore. I have no friends who are teen moms or pregnant, and it's like everytim I try to help someone out who's pregnant and give them advice they shrug it off. It just gets frustrating because I don't really talk to anyone anymore and at school I feel alone well mainly during lunch. I just wish that I would fit in somewhere! I know I& [...]

Found out too late....

Zetchen53

Well I just found out yeserday I was pregnant again, but I lost the baby :( my doctor said I was about 10 weeks. I feel so bad that I didn't fid out sooner but I havn't had my period since I goton the IUD birth control so I didn't even notice and shrugged off th symptoms I guess. I've been trying not to think about it at all, but for some reason today it just wouldn't get off my mind.

I've decided I'm not going to tell my parents because they'd kill me i [...]

Super stressed!

Zetchen53

Michael has barely gotten any sleep at all tonight and I've gotten none so far. I got him to bed around 9 left for the store around 9:30 (and had my brother watch him while I was gone) and at 10:30 when I got hom he was wide awake screaming! I'm exhausted and stressed and he still hasn't gotten back to sleep. He has never been this bad with sleeping has almost always slept through the night except a couple of times. But this past week he's been horrible with sleeping! I don [...]

I am so confused!!!!

Zetchen53

I feel like Dan is giving me mixed signals. Last night Mikey and I stayed the night with him at his dads house. Well when he picked me up we went to his grandma's house first and she gave me a blanketthat she made for Michael and it was really nice getting to know more of his family. Well after that we went to his house and it was around 8:30 and by the time we (or should I say I) got Mikey to sleep we went to his room and I thought we were just going to cuddle and talk at first well t [...]

I miss him :'(

Zetchen53

I know I have to be strong for Mikey but without Dan I've just been so upset lately. He was everything to me. I know it's partially my fault but I don't care he was always so good to me. I've been trying to hold back the tears when I'm with my family and around Mikey but it's just so difficult. I want Mikey to be happy and I know he can sense when I'm upset but it's so hard to look at Mikey when he looks so much like his father.

I lose Dan and alway [...]

I'm not his stupid maid!!!!

Zetchen53

My step-dad is really startinbg to piss me off he doesn't work anymore and when he did I did the laundry got him his coffee picked up the house cooked dinner and took care of Mikey and now he's still expecting me to do all this crap for him and he's not even working. I have my own son to take care of and it's not him right now being summer and all I'd actually have some free time if he didn't make me do a bunch of things for him. This is one of the many reasons I can&# [...]

I feel like such an idiot!!!!!

Zetchen53

Ok so my Dan and I decided to take a break for a month just to really casually date well one of my guy friends and I decided to date during this time well he wanted to have sex (dont worry I'm on birth control and we used a condom) well I didnt want to but you know I wanted to make him happy and since things have been going well I thought maybe we would (also if Dan or I met someone and we really liked them we just wouldnt get back together) well I thought I was going to be with chris (th [...]

37 weeks!!!!

Zetchen53

I'm 37 weeks along and I just want this baby out lol. I feel like it's taking forever for my due date to get here right now. What really doesn't help is that I had my first false alarm yesterday, but I'm still 0 cm dilated and 0% effaced. I wish I could do something to just speed things up but I wouldn't want to put my baby in danger. I wonder if anyone else felt like this when they started nearing their due date.

Financial stress is just building up.

Zetchen53

Ok so my mom got suspended from here job about a month ago and we've been living off my step-dads income which is only like $200 a week which isn't a lot considering all of the bills we haveto pay. My baby's going to be born soon and I seriously have no idea what we're going to do for money. It's just stressing me out completely. My mom was planning on getting her taxes back in a week maybe 2 at the most but because my step-dad has so much child support overdo and they' [...]

I wonder if he even cares.

Zetchen53

Sometimes I just feel like Dan doesn't care about how I feel at all. I mean on facebook his relationship status says "married to ......." and the "........" is one of my aquantaincesfrom school. I know he's just joking around about it and everything because I do talk to the girl enough to know what's going on in her life and he said so himself, but he still talks and flirts with her. Maybe it's just the pregnancy that's making me really emotional about thi [...]

Can't stand living at home anymore?!?!?!

Zetchen53

I really do not know how much more I can handle living in the same house as my brother any more. Whenever my mom's not home I swear he tryies to do things to piss me off so I can get in trouble. I mean he got back from my dads today got on his labtop and noticed our new puppy was sniffing around which usually means he has to go to the bathroom. Well he asked if he'd been out recently and I said no because he hadn't been. Well I have been gone for most of the day getting decoration [...]

Bad news on top of more bad news....

Zetchen53

Well last night my mom got suspended from work because she made a mistake, which you know I'm not upset with her that it happened it just kind of stress me out a bit. Although this morning justmade everything feel ten times worse. I have a very strong feeling that my boyfriend (and the baby's father) cheated on me or didn't tell me the truth about something. This morning when I got on facebook I saw his latest status which are usually just full of fun and joking around, but this o [...]