Another day in the life of me!

So as most of you know, I was doing excellent on my road to recovery, I really thought I was getting there and then bang a big setback hit me.  I am now stuck in my fear again.  I know I cando certain things but I have to train myself all over again.  I havent been on much cause we had some computer problems and i have been trying to work on me but needless to say, i have to continu...

sorry i havent been on in a bit, me and my daughter have been sick and i have also hit the point in my recovery of setbacks, i cam further this time than i have in a long time but unfortunately this hasbeen a really bad series of setbacks and im having a little bit of problems overcoming them and moving forward, but eventually i will get there and this will all be a mystery of my past....

so one of my biggest fears...walmart, i accomplished going past my safe zone.  I normally stand at the door or right next to the door the whole time and this time i made it behind the registers allthe way to the food department and to the back of the clothing department.  Not fully there but still making progress....YES THANK YOU LORD. I did get panicky i just kept going back to my safe...

So my safe person didnt leave me today however I had to go with her all the way to Greeneville which is another place way out of my safe zone, at first I was excited and felt like I could handle it butwhen we left I started feeling those wonderful sensations we all love so much known as panic.  However I was able to talk myself down out of all of them after they started getting a slight bit i...

Ok so today started out with alot of anxiousness knowing i had to go a good ways away from home, I pretty much fret over it the whole time until we left the house, I realized when we were half way thereI was not panicking at all, I was fine and for once was happy leaving the house.  I was the old me.  When I started thinking about it while I was there I got a little panicky a few times b...

Ok so Im actually really proud of myself.  I stayed at the house today for almost 3 hours without my safe person.  Of course I was on edge and felt like I could panic at anytime, but i kept talking myself down and occupying my mind and well i never had a panic attack while she was gone.  Then we went to save a lot and i actually talked myself through going all the way to the back of...

So I have been doing better here it seems recently, I havent had near as many panic attacks as normally and I have been calming myself down a good deal.  I have even been pushing myself to go furtherinto stores and testing myself to try to overcome it.  I am a little freaked out though cause my safe person is leaving me tomorrow for a little while and I get really anxious when shes not h...

So I thought I was on the road to revovery and then I kept running into set backs.  Thing is if you keep going through your set backs even though to me they seem to be the hardest partof all of this then you are even a slight bit better than before because you did not let it defeat you.  I love my life, I wouldnt change anything in it for nothing, only thing is I want to be a...

I have felt so alive today.  I went way out of my safe zone and went a good distance out of town and I actually did really good compared to how I normally am.  Dont get my wrong, I had my momentsbut I talked myself through them and made it through just fine.  Days like this you really feel like your on your way to recovery and your life is waiting for you right around the corner, bu...

So for the past week, I have left my house everyday except for 1 day.  I feel like I accomplished alot.  Im still scared, I fight myself the whole time, if I could just get thesenegative thoughts out of my head.  If I stay occupied I get through pretty well, but out of no where Ill get tingly feelings in my legs and then I have to start fighting the panic off.  I ha...

Ok so I accomplished going past my safe point in driving again today.  It scared me half to death, but I did it and Im still alive.  Im just so ready for this time in my life to pass to whereI can look back and know that I made it through this horror and Im still living a full life.  My main problems I had today was scared of being at home by myself.  I freak out big time when...

So im having a hard time with my family dealing with my agoraphobia.  My mother in law was a great support system until now, i actually used her as my comfort stone.  I always panic when i knowshes not near, but yesterday she flew off the handle and cussed me out because i didnt want to be home by myself and asked my husband to stay home instead of going with her,  she went and boug...

It probably doesnt help that I have the flu, but I left the house again today with my mother in law because i was scared to stay at the house by myself.  I panicked pretty much the whole time.  A couple rough ones but I talked myself through them and at least made it home.  Im kinda scared to face tomorrow but im still not backing down....I guess this will determine how much strengt...

So i have officially left my house 2 days in a row, in which i must say im very proud.  Of course i hadproblems I had to overcome but I lived through them, so yay for me.  I feel like Im gettingstronger.  Im more scared to stay at home by myself than i am to leave the house right now so that gives me the power to go so I dont have to be afraid of being by myself.  Hey its one s...

Today wasnt the best day. I stayed at home and accomplished being alone this morning in which I was very proud of.  But then this afternoon my husband left to go work on our new property that i stillhave never seen....thank you agoraphobia :(, and my mother in law left her house, i all of a sudden got the thought of being alone and I completely lost it.  I went into a full blown panic at...

Today wasnt the best day. I stayed at home and accomplished being alone this morning in which I was very proud of.  But then this afternoon my husband left to go work on our new property that i stillhave never seen....thank you agoraphobia :(, and my mother in law left her house, i all of a sudden got the thought of being alone and I completely lost it.  I went into a full blown panic at...

So today I got the idea Im going to take control of this and not back down.  Alot easier said than done.  I have walked pass my safe points and I am still alive.  Dont get me wrong it wasabsolutely terrifying but its a start.  My husband is helping me every step of the way.  I will start taking my medications and I will get on track.  Feels so good when you say it wit...

I didnt really feel good this morning.  I tried but I just wasnt with it.  My kids seemed to get on my nerves so bad I could barely take it.  Then my mother in law decided tohave a cook out.  Normally I dont leave my house at all but occasionally I can get myself to go to her house since shes right next door.  I went even though I didnt feel good and although i...

I have been  suffering from panic attacks on and off for 9 years.  In September of last year I found out my father in law had been molesting my 12/13 year old sister in law,it happenedright around her birthday.  I dont know what happened to me, before this happened i had anxiety and i couldnt go into certain stores.  Since this has happened everything has gone down...