AngelOrNot

Is it normal for borderlines/biplars to find it difficult to forgive someone. iv been having this problem for years. once someone has hurt me, i will still be fine with that person when they apologize, but the trust is down the drain. and my guard is on the whole time, sarcasm also creeps in. my friend and i have been friends for 12 years recently something huge happened, she apolgized, but now i...

was akward talking to someone who doesnt have a clue whats going on in my life, my previous therapist left, so this one only took my file when i got there, took my old records out without reading themwhich meant i had to sit there and explain every freakin thing of whats going on in my life past and present.

well she said its my negativity is causing the depression,well i knew that. now...

I was ranting and raving last night about how nervous i am for my first therapy session in years. so i get up this morning feeling like shit, nose burning throat sore..damn flu! anyway i still dressget ready and so forth, just before i walk out the door i grab my appointment card, theres the date in big black letters 16MAY!! Its the 15th of may today here, oh my gosh i even wrote it down wrong...

They say let go of the past and move on..dont know how to do that

 Last week  was the toughest time of the year for me. when my mom passed away 16 years ago i thought it would get bettereveryone told me it would, time heals wounds. not this wound. Yes i agree everything happens for a reason, but death? i know its not our decision when we go, where i went after my mom died, was a...

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger...Really?? thats the new song by Kelly Clarkson. Iv been listening to this song for a couple of days now, trying...

So freakin frustrated, went for a walk, but that didnt cool me down..I just need to GET OUT!! and no i dont have anywhere to go or anyone to come to me. Done the walking thing, done the music listening(which just depressed me more no matter what it was) done the deep breathing exercises. My mind just wont stop racing! Sometimes i really wonder why the hell am i here, its like i dont exist just par...

Had a great day today, got spoiled by step mother buying me clothes and lots of other things (as im unemployed my dad and her helps alot) However it seems like we always start talking about my sistersproblems!! for me i know its good because i need to get it out (stuff that she says to me and others) but really?Do we really need to always waste our time talking about her and all her affairs.I have...

been having problems with my sister never slept last night (or just a few hours) was first very irritable today then later on started crying and couldnt stop..am not currently taking my sleeping tabletsas i feel i dont need them, but i just took one now as i feel so stressed and anxious....

So tired just need some sleep now so tired and irritated, think i need to take a sleeping tablet tonight...

What does it mean when you  have been diagnosed with bmd and your stepmother says "there's nothing wrong with you"(might i add shes got a Psychology degree)??When im alone i feelsoooooo depressed but then when im around people im mostly fine.So who does that make me..sometimes i will just sit there and think the strangest things, like cant they see thru my mask, and then othe...

Last night was one of the difficult nights ever a new friend was really there for me. thanks brainy. Slept well until 10:30 in the morning took 3 sleeping tablets to get thru the night, feeling grouchyand irritated when i woke up. gotta put my mask up and get going,  i really need to get out of the house being alone is driving me crazy especially these running thought wish they can crash and...

hope i will be sleeping soon after cutting myself badly,am so tired of all this,took 3 sleeping tablets which are affecting my tyyping so im off im gonna crawl to my bed coz in cant walk and hopefullysleep thanks briany2138 for all you support my friend

xxxxx

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Iv found myself posting stuff everyday, going thru a tough time. think i should start keeping a diary here (i kind of wondered off when i started) at least then i can try and gather my thoughts..

 Yesterday after this post, i just broke down and cried for about an hour..went to sleep and felt a bit better untill a trigger on the tv started everything all over again. my ex emailed me...