I had a friend that I met in the hospital on one of my many suicide stays decide that she doesnt want to be my friend anymore. At least she let me know this today. We have been friends for at least8 years and been through alot toghether.

I guess maybe its better this way because in the long run she has been frustrating me alot in the past 6 months but I was still willing to stay by her side. I saw that she wasnt able to take care of herself or manager her own money and probably will never be able too. But what happened today I never say coming. She said that I drugged her when we went to a movie about 6 years ago. (which by the way I didnt) I am guessing she is in the middle of a break down or something. I told her husband that she needs to go to the hospital and get checked out because she is not ok. And he actually told me that she is just fine they had her checked last week.

I am worried about her but I guess it is out of my hands. He is not concerned at all and I cant remember any of her family members names. He tried to call me back after he repeatedly kept hanging up on me and I didnt even say hello, I just said dont ever call my fucking house again! I realize she is not well right now. But I dont need to deal with it. When I was calling back he said he was going to call the cops on me for harassment.

I am just really sad now. I really dont have any friends anymore it seems like. I have one true friend that I tell almost everything to but I am lucky if I even talk to her once a week anymore or see her 4 times a year. And the rest only call one they have nothing better to do or need a place to party or a ride somewhere.

I am lonely and I want people to hang out with that are my age and like me for me. Now I am really getting down because no one does. Thank god for books and tv.