Diary Entries for JACKIEH

Sometimes it takes a crisis

JACKIEH

Human beings are remarkable, and sometimes it takes a crisis to bring out the best in people, and itr is lovely and amazing to see.

As you all know Greece is going through a really bad time andthe price of politicians on the take, political mistakes and the disinterest in getting the people who owe lots of money to the government to pay up is being burdened on average joe. The low paid, the retired and the youth of this country, who find their degrees useless, are the on [...]

apologies to all

JACKIEH

Hello everone, first i would like to apologise to the new members who i did not welcome to our new group, from this entry i walmly welcome you and hope that you are finding everything you need.

Secondly for those who know me, sorry if i have missed important things in your lives and i will try to catch up with you all soon.

Unfortunately, the last few months have been a little bit difficult and stressful for me, which I believe agrivated my RA. I lost 2 more members of my family, [...]

chest pains

JACKIEH

I made a post a while ago about having a kind of chest pain and was advised to see my rheumy about it, thanks. Well i did and he told me if I had it again i should go to the ER as he could not say anything without seeing it. As i was returning home from work that night, it started again, the band around my chest and the stabbing pain through my sternum and back, so my poor husband , who had just come home from work, took me to the ER, where they gave me an ekg, and asked a bunch of stupid que [...]

Can't be cured!!!!!!

JACKIEH

Three little words that strike fear in the heart of those who hear them, and I believe that we have all heard those words, and the terror overcomes you.Panic spreads through your body, your heart beatquickens and you cannot imagine how your life will be from now on and you are scared, terribly terribly scared because there is no prognosis on how it will affect you as it affects each and every one of us in a different way.

No longer can you guarantee how you will feel in the morni [...]

I wish I had my life back

JACKIEH

These are words that i see written so many times on posts, and i do understand them, i am writing this using 1 finger as i cant use my hands today, and it would be lovely if we had a time machine andwe could go back, but we cant.

We have to try and deal with our lives the way they are now, the day we find ourselves in, somedays are going to be rough and somedays will be better, but why beat yourselves up over something that is out of your control.

I know acceptance of having a dis [...]

first RA complications part 2

JACKIEH

As i mentioned in an earlier post, a couple of months ago i got shingles, and these were the first complication i ever had since I first got dxd with RA. I thought that once I had the treatment allwould be back to normal, but it's not and i find this confusing. Sure I am probably run down a bit and there is quite a bit of stress, I live in Greece after all, and believe me when I tell you that what you may hear on tv about the situation it is 1000 times worse in reality here. But enough of [...]

when frustration sets in

JACKIEH

what do you do, well if your me u go nuts and i mean seriously nuts. Ok I can hear you saying OMG, what set her off, well I will tell you, apart from the fact that I live ina country that the moneyis worth literaly toilet paper, at least it has some use lol, today I took my mum to the airport to fly home, and guess what? There was no flight, nothing , nada, on the flight board, no-one nknew what to do, they sent us to a representive company who said the ppl from this airline were not in [...]

DEAR DAD

JACKIEH

HELLO MY DEAREST DAD,

ON SATURDAY IT WILL BE EXACTLY 1 TEAR SINCE YOU LEFT US, AND I DONT KNOW HOW I WILL FEEL THEN AND AM A BIT SCARED REALLY. wHEN WE SCATTERED YOUR ASHES IN aUGUST I WAS REALLYSUPRISED TO FIND MYSELF CRYING, i DIDNT EXPECT THAT SO NOW i DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT ON SAATURDAY.i DONT MISS YOU WHICH I SUPPOSE SOME PPL MIGHT FIND ATS STRANGE BUT HOW CAN I MISS YOU WHEN YOU ARE HERE WITH ME ALL THE TIME. i NEVER FEEL YOUR ABSENCE, YOU ARE EVERYWHERE I GO, YOU SHARE MY LAUGH [...]

Mother in law from HELL

JACKIEH

Ok, I know its a cliche, but she really is the mother in law from hell, and she left last night, join the party girls.

This is the first time i have had my mum and my ma in law in my house atthe same time, one speaks english the other greek, one is sane and one is a nutcase, I will leave you to make the correct choice but if you say my ma in law is the sane one you are making a mistake.

How many others have mothers in laws that dont take baths, drops food all over the place, [...]

I am Humbled

JACKIEH

I am humbled by those who are my RA family, I am inspired by you, by your strength and wisdom, your courage and love.

Never in my life did I imagine that I would find so many special ppl in oneplace, and yet here you all are, if I wore a hat I would take it of to you all, each and every one of you.

For Cata, who is such an incredible fighter, who has been through so much and yet still finds the time to reach out to those in need.

For Paulette, who also has fought battles on [...]

1ST RA complication

JACKIEH

hello all, I am back, little bit doped up from the pain killers but home at last, thanks to all of those who knew and sent me wishes. From 2009 when i had my first attack and was put on meds, i havebeen fine in fection wise, and when you think i work with children who always have colds n stuff, i never caught a thing.

then I had what i thought was a mozzie attack lol, how stupid can i be, which led to raised yellow spots, ok i think, they have got infected cos they r close to my a [...]

oops i did it again

JACKIEH

just wanted to apologise to anyone who reads the article I wrote for the spelling mistakes, I really should re-read things I write but when my hands are stiff i tend to hit the wrong button. Never mind, it made me laugh. If u choose to read it enjoy lol

optimism

JACKIEH

hello all,

A few days ago I made a post about how my optimism was at a low, something unusual for me, but then again without the lows you cant see the highs. It was wonderful the replies thatI got and they really helped, thats why I love this group.

Even my husband figured out something was wrong, he kept saying you are not yourself, you are not laughing and joking with me, I love playing jokes on him!!!!!! I think I was overtired. I am sure we all know those days when even if you [...]

DR who, Dr what, DR full of shit

JACKIEH

What's the problem with getting a second opinion? I will tell you what, every so called dr, who doesn't know you, has never seen you at your worst will give you a different diagnosis.
Hasany one ever asked the Dr's why they dont listen to you, it's like you open your mouth and all they hear is blah blah blah. wtf!!!!
last week , after nearly 3 yrs, i decided to see another rheumy, not because i don't like mine, i do, he is great and he listens, but every one tells m [...]

Adventures in NY

JACKIEH

Hello every one, it's been a while, I am in NY having all kinds of adventures!!!!

First, the reason which I came was to escort my greek ma-in law to her relatives, our relatives i suppose, and to be honest I love them to bits, they are all wonderful ppl, shame about ma-in -law, lol.

When we arrived at JFK, we passed through customs, I spoke for m-i-l, as she knows no english, and then the customs officer, a woman, turned to me and asked what was the reason for my visit busines [...]

not superwoman

JACKIEH

Well ' i guess those who see this title will be intrigued. Are you thinking is she talking about her limitations? well no, I mean literally, I am not superwoman cos i tested the theory and foundthat i cannot fly.LOL

Last week, I was out with my mum, who was here for a visit, and we were sat drinking coffee when my mum needed a napkin so I got up to get one. Whether my foot gave out ( as it does sometimes) or I tripped over a very small step I do not know, but suddenly I was flying.. [...]

Dear RA part 2

JACKIEH

So. Ra, it has been three months since I last wrote to you and I just wanted to update you.In as far as you controlling my life, I would like to inform you that you have not succeeded, I am still beatingyou, also you are no longer so scary to me, I know you now, I know who you are and what you can do and I am quite sure you still haven't given me your worst yet, but you know, I am ok with that because I havent even started with you either. I am so much stronger than I was before because n [...]

Easter Greetings

JACKIEH

I would just like to take the time, through my diary, to wish everyone a very happy easter. I hope you enjoy your easter with close friends or family or both and have a relatively pain free day if nota pain free day. Thankyou to my extended family here

each to their own

JACKIEH

All of us will have our own way of coping with RA, some will turn to their faith, some will turn to dr's and others will turn to friends or family. Me, i turn to laughter in most areas of my lifecos this is the way I cope and it is the perfect way for me. I will not say that i do not suffer in some ways from Low self esteem , i do especially with my appearance which has altered thanks to those yummy steroids we are given, I also will not say that I do not get depressed, I do but not very [...]

The Dark

JACKIEH

Dark clouds gathered above my head,

My heart beats faster in my chest,

Burning blood courses through my veins,

Body immobilizes in my chair,

Too scared to move

Too scaredto cry.

Enter into the darkness that becomes my life,

A darkness so deep it takes your breathe away,

A frozen hand clenches at your heart,

You recognize the enormity of changes to come,

You will never be the same,

You will know yourself no more,