My Heart is Breaking, Again

I see myself as a flower in the August sun, the heat causes my face to turn downward, my roots are parched for lack of life giving water. Dying, slowly dying, until my face rests on the ground. One flower in a field of millions of flowers. And no one sees me.

I am so very lonely it causes me physical pain. My heart feels as if it will shatter into a million pieces. This illness has robbed me of everything. I wake up alone, live alone, go to sleep alone. If my parents didn't call me I would never speak to another person.

I desperately want to work but I cannot hold a job. Something about me just turns people off and I don't know exactly what it is or I would change it. Can people see my pain, scars from this battle with the demon bipolar?

Tears roll down my cheeks, hope is fading. When I cry no one hears me but God.

Lord why do you forsake me again and again?  What would you have me do?  You only need to ask, I am yours heart and soul.