|Sep 10 2009|
Well the last few days I have been in so much pain. It came from nowhere. I have been waking up and not able to move because it hurts so much. At first I thought it was from a medicationbut it does not match any side effects that I have found. My job as an educator of young children requires a lot of movement. I cannot even climb steps. The only medication I have been taking is motrin. Maybe it helps and maybe it doesn't. I had a hard time sleeping last night but I am thankful for conversations on this site. I don't know what I would do without it. I hope this physical pain ends soon. I know there are far worse things to worry about though...
My sister is on the bone marrow transplant list. We wait. She is in severe pain and is unable to eat (years, life time). I think about her all the time. (to think that I really believed that I could just give her my organs like they were a gift and everything would be okay not that long ago What was I thinking? Life is never that simple.) I love her so much and would not survive if anything ever happened. God forbid. I cannot help but think about it and cry. I just sit here in my bed barely able to move and cry. Thank God she is still alive. I am so thankful. What is going to happen to her? What is going to happen to me? Some days I feel like I am not going to make to the next. Sometimes it is a relief. I know that is horrible to say but it helps me breathe. My grandmother died a year and a half ago and when I think about it I still cry. I don't even know why I am crying now. I am not on an antidepressant right now and wish I was. I just want a little help (not a lot just to help me through life's challenges)
So many people have a harder life then I do. Why do I cry? Why do I hurt?
What is mental illness after all?
Sad To Say Goodbye
Surgery Day 1
God Bless All Of You - Good Bye
Organ Transplant Team
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