|Feb 04 2009|
I am now on day 18 of this flare. I am having intense pain everywhere. I have been unable to get my pain below a 7 and it is getting really old. The one thing that is different is I am also boredout of my mind. Normally when I have a flare I am able to go on the computer or watch tv or sleep to keep my mind off of the pain. I also use all the tools I have learned to help with my pain and normally they at least help. I am not having a whole lot of success with the pain right now, but somehow I have managed to stay positive for the most part. I am just very restless. My jaw is locked shut so I can't even eat solid food. I have a very difficult time getting to the restroom and for the most part can't even get out of bed. I am doing my stretching because I am worried about not movingmaking it worse. I am also having my husband help me move around at night. Not helping. My hot tub is not even providing the normal help. This pain is very stubborn. I do not know what else to do. I am thankful I am not depressed and have maintained my sense of humor. I am also very thankful for this group, but even it seems as though it has been kind of slow lately. I am finding everything to be terribly boring and I am definately suffering from cabin fever. I am so tired of starring at these walls. I am going stir crazy with boredom. My normally adictive computer games are seeming mundane. I have always been asle to entertain myself in one way or another, but not this time. It is not as though I have energy to do anything so I do not understand why I am suddenly so restless. I need to get out, but I am afraid of making the flare worse. I am hurting so bad it would be difficult to overdue, but with my back it would be a mistake to even go for a ride. I am getting outside as I can to atleast get fresh air and what little sun I am allowed, but it is not enough. I do not understand this restlessness. With my pain I should be content to not move and sleep, but no such luck. I have been dealing with this for so long one would think you would come to a point where there is nothing new to experience, but we all know that is not true. There must be away to break this cycle of pain. I must be missing some tool, something I can do to help myself. I will not let this beat me.
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