3setfree

i just finished a 13 week support group for adult survivors, well.... it was awesome. the women were all so honest, accepting, loving, and real. this experience changed me. it helped me to rememberwho i am... now... can i keep up the sanity, and reality ive been looking for all my life? im scared. im so scared.

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i gotta hurry up n get ready for work, butlet me say this: i am so tired of being sick and tired, i finally decided i'm ready for help. i quit my meds agin 2 months ago, and promptly started self medicatng (again). i work, i parent, i function, but it's all done with this mask i wear hiding the real me! my mask is wearing thin, i'm not putting on as good as a show as i used to and am r...

are you kidding me! so, being november and all, i should probably in my right mind remember being in, on, around this sight.... RIGHT? wrong, welcome to a peice of me. i am awake now, 2:17 am, offof drugs, and on a whole entir emotional spiritual trip like you wouldnt believe. i dont know if im suicidal or numb or just fuckin crazy at this point... my child custody battle that has been in hyb...

been dead to the world for 2  days dint evevn get myself out of bed or showered kept trhinking about this support- now im going backj to bed...

waking up with the kind of edgy fear/ paranoia that has no right to take up space in my head, my world. im too close to wellnessto give in to nonsense for no apparent reason. why does my mind do thisto me? im sick of it. thank god i have my babies to look after and love. FOCUS

 

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now that the kids are asleep, and the old man is passed out i can focus on what im hoping will be a healing time for me. ive always needed to connect w/ others in order for me to feel whole, my life thesedays is lonely, out of sync, and irrational. what can i expect from this support thru the computer? its my first try.......