Been there, tried that...

  So, I now have severe arthritis set in, from a post tramadic multiple impact fracture in my right ankle (A car accident 3 years ago) A second chronic pain has entered my life.  I just saw my surgeon and got the results from the catscan.  Its bone on bone rubbing, that is now actually wearing down the overall length of my leg. I have about 12 pieces i have chipped off, that get caught in my ankle when i walk more than a couple hundred yards, and my surgeon reccomends fusion.  When it first kicked in, i didn't even get it looked at as the stabbing pain in my ankle masked my headache. But it got worse every week and i now am on some anti inflamatories that help a tiny bit.  I did not fill the script for daily pain meds as i am proud of the fact that i take considerably less than i used too.  I learned to cope by using distractions.  But this distraction needs some kind of attention.

I am 30 years old.  I try not to think about the future as i live life a day at a time.  But now my doctor is talking about welding my ankle at a 90', and not burning bridges for my future in 30 years when i can look at a replacement joint.  Honestly i never thought i would be here at 30 years of age.  I have struggled more than not, through the past 14 years.  I am not sure how, but i am still here.  As weird as it may sound i am shitting bricks, terrified of getting my ankle "fixed",  as the searing pain in my ankle has become a distraction i depend on.  I know that anyone with a serious headache would do anything to get rid of there pain.  I also know that anyone with severe arthritis would do the same.  But when one masks the other, what would you do?

I think that the answer is to get the ankle fixed up, and deal with the headache like i always have.  Its just, i have had a bad start to the year, with a couple really rough months.  Headache has been bad a lot lately, and i am not taking this fusion thing well.   I know that however bad i have it, somebody has it worse; so i guess i should just keep repeating that, and try not to feel so crappy.