|Jun 08 2012|
" Please...Why? "
Please...why is it when dire, infectious illness wends so slowly as it slowly wanes,
all kinds of miseriedthings-instead-fly in;
like roving migraines, more deep despair, and unrelenting stomach pains,
to seek some measure of ascendency, there, to lasting, dwell within?
For though a painful, aspirative congestion remains,
and constant coughing from a too-raspy throat,
allows a rank fatigue to settle in, while dark depression reigns.
Somehow, these small, attendant evils gloat.
My hands and arms, and shoulders jump, and have not stopped,
and I still have not an appetite for food;
I sit in silence, with coffee that I've spilled, and burn marks from the cigarettes I've dropped.
Oh well...perhaps some weight loss will do me good.
In feeling ill-somehow-has been uncapped an endless well of sorrow
that reduces all my once-fond hopes to smoke and dreams.
I briefly doze throughout the day, in hopes I will feel a little better, when I awake, tomorrow.
Despite all the antibiotic use-for now-as useless, there is no relief it seems.
My jumbled, scattered prayers are mumbled to a God I cannot see,
for wellness, for financial help to make it to month's end.
Is there a cure for loneliness, I ask, most wistfully?
And that some blissful, monetary help descend.
I'm not completely selfish, because I always pray
for illness-end, and health returned, and that all pain and need will cease;
I do this for my dearest, kindest friends at M.D.J.
That you-too-may find true happiness at least.
How often have I come to you in pain, to always find you there?
How often have I cried for all of us, for everything which we should enjoy in full, but lack?
How often have I turned to you, my dearest friends, to seek your heartfelt, loving care?
Please always, always know how very much I love you, ‘Zahc'
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