|Apr 30 2011|
I like writing in this, I don't know why. It's releasing in a sense. Although I already talk to my mum about my anxiety a lot, and think about it a lot, it feels good to just write it down.
I had the day off from work today, which was really nice. I didn't feel panicky or anxious until around 7 pm this evening, which was nice! Not nice that I felt it, but nice that it wasn't until so much later on. I'm just getting little waves of hot flashes, negative/hopeless thoughts, and nausea or a fear of gagging. I think it's the negative/hopeless thoughts that are bringing on the waves. I keep telling myself, this will pass, I will feel relaxed soon. I can breathe through this, this is just a phase.
I'm a bit worried for tomorrow, just because I have to work yet again. I work at 7 am too! So I can't really take my time to fall asleep tonight, which also makes me a bit anxious. Also I'm just anxious for being at work, I worked last night and while I got through it without taking any lorazepam, it was still pretty difficult.
I just want my anxiety to get back to its manageable level I've been used to for the past few years!!!
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